World-famous Hair

I washed my hair today. That is something that does not happen very often. Once a week maximum – frequently less than that. Oh, I hear the sniggers and the sing-song ridiculing, from what the little dunderheads only think is behind my back (spies have sharp ears). The female ones, especially, complain in winter how the dry, cold air makes their hair frizzy. Now, of course you'll complain, you little fools, when you wash it every day! And use drying spells on it, of all things! Let the natural grease build up! Mine stays soft and silky, even when exposed to the fumes from dozens of cauldrons all day long. But the benefits of hair as oily as mine will, no doubt, be sought or learned by few.

Severus Snape is famous for his greasy hair. In fact, my hair care regimen was a lot more like Snape's to begin with than the every-morning shower wash that a lot of people think is "normal", so going "fully Snape" in my hair methods was a surprisingly easy transition to make. I, too, wash my hair once a week or less and, get this!, if it's not greasy enough, I add olive oil or avocado compound to it! The results are deliciously silky, shiny and supple. And since I make my own hair-care potions, I get to laugh myself sick at all those expensive, petroleum-based compounds in the supermarket hair aisle. A whole aisle of them, will you believe. Silly Muggles.

This photo is a joke on Snape. No, I do not actually use axle grease on my hair. Makes for a cute pic though. What I do use is this potion I made... (Don't have the patience, or a lab? Aw, what a shame! Better go to the salon.)

















Snape's Secret Sauce (abbreviated)

3 cups apple cider vinegar
1/4 cup dried sage
1/4 cup dried rosemary
1.5 Tbs. yarrow leaves/flowers
2 Tbs. thyme
1 Tbs. dried elderberries
1 Tb. ground coffee
1 Tb. cloves
3 witch-hazel twigs, diced
Few drops Boyajian lime
10-20 drops favorite essential oil(s) to balance scent of vinegar

Grind all ingredients to powder with mortar and pestle. Warm vinegar in cauldron to just boiling. Add all but last two ingredients (oils are volatile!!!) to vinegar, simmer for 5 minutes, turn off heat, and steep as brew cools. When cool, place in jar, add oils, and macerate for 7 days; strain and bottle. Use 1/8 to 1/4 cup per 2 cups water, no more than twice per month, as a hair rinse.

Class in Session: A Professional Blend

It always helps to be in the right place at the right time when students come around the corner, clearly indulging in any one of numerous imbecilic activities when they should be studying for pre-holiday exams. Lurking about as I have found it profitable to do, one is bound to catch a few of them – including my Slytherins – off guard. And it's not as if they don't have plenty to learn...

What does a real potion formula look like? The other day at the Apothecary, I restocked our shelf supply of Colitis blend, made from a number of herbal extracts. Most of these formulae call for quite a few ingredients. A similar one is below. With the ingredients' folk names used, rather than modern names, it looks like this:

Elixir of Rejuvenation

Wonder-of-the-World 37 minims
Maca 52 ms.
Gotu Kola leaves 30 ms.
Hotfruit powder 22 ms.
Tree-of-Wisdom 22 ms.
Bladderwrack 30 ms.
Curcurma 30 ms.
Green Tea 22 ms.
Wild Yam 22 ms.
Ladies' meat 22 ms.
Hyssop 22 ms.
Bamboo Briar 30 ms.
Sang 30 ms.
Sweet Root 7 ms.
Love Herb 7 ms.
Trefoil 7 ms.
Gin berry 7 ms.
Karan gum 7 ms.
Swine snout 7 ms.
Sage 7 ms.
Masterwort 7 ms.
Palmetto fruits 7 ms.

All I can say is, I'm glad I'm not Harry Potter and having to remember that one by heart on exam day! With enough studying, however, it's less scary than it looks – especially as one gets more and more familiar with plants and their powers. Herbalism folks may recognize the major, or primary, ingredients and supporting, or secondary ingredients of this formula.

Note: What the hell is a minim?!?!?! An older unit of liquid measurement equal to 1/80 tsp.!! We have our formulae in teaspoons and fluid ounces, too, since a minim is so tiny.
Another note: Have I revealed the complete formula? Of course not! I am a Slytherin!
Dunderhead tip: Hold the spoon against the bottle lip as you pour or it goes aaaaaaaall over your shoes.

























Back in the day I loved nothing more than this sort of academic pursuit, as I still do, and Potions especially. But every so often, even I needed a break...