The Night that went Perfectly

WE DON'T GET HUNG UP ON MORALS – WE DON'T WORRY 'BOUT BREAKIN' HEARTS – WE DON'T CARE, NOT AT ALL – SLYTHERINS JUST WANNA PAAARTY

Potions Master is one thing. But party master? Rarely do I get a good chance to arrange a group of friends for serious fun. But for Deathly Hallows #1, Portland Midnight premier, that's just what I did – from the calls, emails, texts, invites and reservations, to gathering the necessary... um... ingredients.

Lesson learned from last year: Get there at least one-and-a-half hours early. After meeting up for a bite of mac-n'-cheese and some beer at Rock Bottom Brewery, we got in the long, winding line to wait. I was prepped – my Slytherin student bag was bloated, like a snake that had swallowed something three times its girth (broke my zipper, but I fixed it!), with the makings of a full party: snack mixes, organic M&Ms, Bertie Botts' Beans, several home-bottled potions of soft-drink consistency. My hair was freshly greased, my cloak newly embroidered (by my own hands) with my latest promotional insignia, and we were all ready to rumble.

The announcer stood up, bellowing over the heads of the young crowd. They were going to search us! Oh, no!!! No outside food!!!! My bag still hung over my shoulder, bulging under my cape like a Victorian bustle, and I seriously considered just slyin' my way in. What would they do, frisk us? But while Snape-wear is ideal for a cold, blustery Portland evening, it was horrid in that well-heated cinema. If they were gonna search our bags anyway... to heck with it! I whipped off my cloak. We plopped right down on the floor, still in line, and busted out the grub, laughing fit to bust at all the crap stowed in my bag.

Sometimes, the most Slytherin thing to do is ask, albeit in a silky, openly innocent way. No way were they confiscating my stash. Not wanting to be searched and hold up the line, this I did, displaying the bag's contents, whereupon the ticket girl said my "Harry Potter party props" were fine – it was just big fast-food bags and other blatant stuff they had issues with. Yesss!!! However, just in case of a search, I slithered into the bathroom – and stuffed a pocketknife and some fireworks (in case my friends were up for a spark-filled, Potter-esque duel) into my sock. Oops. It's always fun swaggering into Ladies with fake frown lines and a five-o'-clock shadow, or better, a beard. I'm the only woman I know who regularly dons makeup to cause herself to look older.

Bring it on!!!! We scored prime seats toward the back and nestled in. There came the usual parade of silly, cheesy previews, and while I was only "channeling" Sev at one-quarter throttle, I still delivered for each several scathing, flesh cutting comments, letting everyone in hearing range know I was one of those seasoned folks who see through Hollywood's hormone driven appeal to our common animal denominators of sex and survival lust, and was here only to indulge in something I liked before the screen interpreted it...

A quick, slick potions trick came next – I'd had the presence of mind to pack a two-part affair that lights up in a couple of tiny bottles ("Rapidalumos", or "Insta-Lite"?!). I have a "bling-chain" with another tiny bottle on it – a personal status symbol of a pimpin' Dr. Severus Snape. I mixed the potions in the pendant bottle for my friends' benefit, but it actually turned out very useful: my friend lost her cell phone under the seats! As Harry, Ron and Hermione passed the cursed Horcrux locket of Slytherin amongst them, I appropriately, and repeatedly passed my friend my own "magic chain", and she eventually found her Muggle device.

As the movie commenced to cheers, we once again got out the party fixings and tucked in with relish, probably to the chagrin of those next to us. Never let it be said that Party Master Snape is not good to his loyal subjects!

We were rather satisfied with the movie, which is saying something from the point of view of a die-hard book adherent like me who's frequently at odds with film interpretations. I won't give too much away, but... snippets: – The few scenes Jason Isaacs is in, he's damned fine! Bellatrix is more like I imagined her from the book in this movie, thank badness. There are many quiet spaces, with nothing said, equaling whole volumes of description. Quite a good deal of creepiness. And... I still like my wand, Nemesis, better. (Another item I hoped they wouldn't take issue with at the ticket stand...)

We hung out some more, and I finally got home, went to bed at 5:00am, one very fagged-out party animal of a Snape. Thank Merlin it's just a theory exam tomorrow...