Master of Analysis: Sherlock's Lab

My family and I have always loved Sherlock Holmes, especially in his incarnation through the late Jeremy Brett, upon whom I had a teenage crush: Brett had a voice that rivaled Alan Rickman's and preceded my love for Alan's version of Snape, not to mention his comparably superb portrayal of a mature male character in possession of fantastic intelligence and sense of subtleties. It makes me sad to know Jeremy got his wonderful voice in part by smoking!

Jeremy Brett as Holmes. Having taken time to dissect my own nature I can confess that, yes, he reminds me much of my father, in looks and partly in manner as well!

Grease, of a more dapper variety. . . .

I love the intensity of this look, and all it implies. A brilliant mind on the scent of a case!

Tall, dark and snarky: Benedict Cumberbatch as Sherlock

Unlike Jeremy, Benedict has an interesting breed of handsome, almost elven; but I liked his performance

Introducing me to the nefarious uses of opium, snake venom and the fictional devil's-foot-root, to name but a few, Holmes was one of the larger coals that kept my interest in things like herbs, potions, poisons and mysteries burning until it could be set aflame again --- as it was years later by Snape, a fellow similar to Holmes in his absolute mastery of the powers of the mind.

My ideal of a cosy study

I like that Holmes was an independent agent, a private detective: It made him a bit like a spy, but not beholden to a government by hire; Holmes, unlike many an agent, resembled more the vigilante, who remained above bribery or paycheck in pursuit of justice.

Holmes' lab, or one version thereof.

Holmes had a lab, and I would later learn that his fictitious experiments and analyses were so cutting-edge that they revolutionized an entire discipline and ushered in a new era of forensic methodology.

A less warm and fuzzy interpretation, if any lab dedicated to chemistry, toxins and forensics can be warm and fuzzy.

Small wonder Holmes has risen again and again in different forms, one of the latest being "Sherlock", a more modern and deliciously snarky rendition. I do believe this same complex appeal is why Snape rules the fanfiction boards; fans will ensure a good character is given at least nine lives and fully explored, and the canonical author be damned! (A. Conan Doyle, of course, cannot complain, for he has passed on.)

An orderly little lab of antiquity

PBS.org has a webpage featuring discussion of a new program, which elaborates on the groundbreaking importance of Sherlock Holmes:

"How Sherlock Changed the World reveals the impact Sherlock Holmes has had on the development of real criminal investigation and forensic techniques. From blood to ballistics, from fingerprints to footprints, Holmes was 120 years ahead of his time, protecting crime scenes from contamination, looking for minute traces of evidence and searching for what the eye couldn’t see. The film features interviews with forensic scientists, toxicologists, crime scene investigators and criminal profilers."

Painting of a Steampunk street. I love the "Brylcreem" sign!

"Embraced by the public from his very first appearance in 1887, Sir Arthur Conan Doyle’s literary creation is more popular than ever, with multiple contemporary film and television series introducing new generations to the detective’s keen observations and lightning powers of deduction. Narrated by Andrew Lincoln, How Sherlock Changed the World features dramatized excerpts from several of Doyle’s stories, along with scenes from “Sherlock,” the MASTERPIECE series starring Benedict Cumberbatch.

"In an era when eyewitness testimony and “smoking gun” evidence were needed to convict and police incompetence meant that Jack the Ripper stalked the streets freely, Sherlock Holmes used chemistry, bloodstains and fingerprints to catch offenders. In many ways, the modern detective can be seen as a direct extension of Conan Doyle’s literary genius. Using interviews and archival materials, How Sherlock Changed the World explores real crimes that were solved thanks to techniques, equipment or methods of reasoning Holmes used.

"Forensic scientist Dr. Henry Lee shows how he used blood evidence to free a woman charged with the murder of her husband in a mysterious case in Florida, and Karen Smith demonstrates how blood splatter patterns exonerated Dr. Sam Sheppard of his wife’s murder years after his conviction. The history of Sherlock’s techniques from the 1880s to the present is explored, showing how the scientific methods he introduced to the world have evolved into the stunning CSI-style forensic labs of Scotland Yard and the FBI."

Spooky Victorian conceptual paintings convey the gritty world of Holmes' criminal investigations

"Holmes was the first to use ballistics, including bullet trajectory, as evidence in criminal cases. Long before modern toxicologists developed sophisticated tests for chemical analysis, Holmes was using scientific methods to detect the presence of poisons, which for centuries had been used as an undetectable means for murder. Dr. Michael Rieders reveals how modern toxicology tests were used to unmask the true killer of Robert Curley, a Wilkes-Barre, Pennsylvania man who died of thallium poisoning.

"One of the best known forensic scientists in history and an avid reader of Sherlock Holmes stories, Frenchman Edmond Locard built the first real forensics lab in 1910, 23 years after Sir Arthur Conan Doyle dreamed up a fictional one. Like Sherlock, Locard kept meticulous collections of soil, mineral, fiber and hair samples and used a microscope to identify trace evidence. Locard eventually formulated one of the important breakthroughs of modern forensic science, the exchange principle, which states that when two things come into contact, they each leave a trace on the other. Sherlock’s obsession with shoe print evidence also inspired one of the most recent advances in solving crimes — gait analysis.

"As Sherlock's fame grew, so did that of his creator. Sir Arthur Conan Doyle frequently received letters appealing for help with crimes. One such letter led Doyle to turn detective himself, and in 1903 his shrewd observations and experience as an eye doctor helped exonerate a man accused of brutally killing animals in a Staffordshire village. Even though Doyle proved the accused innocent, the police refused to believe it. The experience propelled Doyle to become an influential voice in setting up the first official British Court of Appeal two years later.

"How Sherlock Changed the World demonstrates that the legacy of Holmes, the first crime scene investigator, is not solely as a reservoir of brilliant stories and wonderfully drawn characters, but can be found in the development of modern scientific criminal investigation techniques and improved methods for capturing today’s criminals."
 --- source:  http://www.pbs.org/program/sherlock-changed-world/

Scottish Highlands, place of mystery

Combining mental pursuits with spiritual journeying is a natural tendency of mine, regardless of what I choose to study. This certainly holds true for potions, and I can only hope my "temple" is more adequate for serious work in the future! But can the world and lessons of Sherlock Holmes specifically be used as a tool of self-analysis or spiritual dissection?

The answer of course is yes, and this great deck of Tarots by John Matthews is just such a tool. Last Christmas/Yule I bought one deck each for Dad and my buddy Timothy, only to kick myself for not buying myself the third and last one on the sale rack! We must remedy that.

And so the investigation begins, my lads!

--- pic source: Kelly Tartston

A Kit for Any Profession

Searching for kits again, inspired by a recent social media post, I came up with these. Seems I'm aaaaall about the portable potions, and just can't get enough kits! These creations by random artists online meet a variety of needs, live-action role-playing to practical, alchemy to potistry to herbalism, and anything else the mind can fathom. . . .

Alchemy kitbox with glassware, ingredients and book

This type of open, easy-access "shelf" runs similar to what I've envisioned making for Pagan fairs to use as a mobile vendor, with perhaps a stash storage cabinet beneath the shelf. The only thing to watch for with this arrangement, besides glassware that can be knocked off and broken, is that it can get really heavy really quickly.

Some little potions meant for display and awesome-factor don't need to be functional, but I prefer them to be.

Check this out. T'would go well with my potion "ammo belt", as long as it didn't hinder mobility too much. Potion containers can utterly festoon a person yet remain hidden under robes and cloaks.

A nice little folding alchemy kit with straps, vials and tools

Another pretty folding kit for alchemy or herbs.

An alchemy kit less practical than it is meant to be displayed openly, but what a slash design.

Very nice and useful, flexible leather kitbox of a convenient size, and no doubt lighter in weight than its wooden cousins

Again built in a folding leather kitbox style, this could be a fully functional mini herbal or medical apothecary

"Awww!" Tiny phials that fit via loops over a belt. Perfect for assassins

Beautiful folding leather alchemy or magistry kitbox

One of these leather kits again, with a tray that lifts out, and perhaps slightly different containers and tools

Elegantly-worked leather pouches by a German company. The clasps are available from Tandy Leather; a local store named Fabric Depot used to carry them, and I am beyond bummed that Fabric Depot just went o.o.b. (out of business)! Now where will I go? . . .!

Truly stylish carriables in the form of books, because what alchemist worth their salt isn't fond of fat tomes?

Making such kits costs materials and time, but I look forward to trying my hand at a few of these designs, oh, a dozen or so projects in the future from now.

Little Hidden Treasures

Since obtaining a smart-phone, I've joined a number of social Internet groups. Witches, Gilded Age elegance, plant ID, wild snake education, Gothic style, houses for sale, Slytherin fan threads. . . . each speaks a little to who I am, offering tidbits of information, inspiration and solace to my mind and soul. And not everything related to witches or potions comes to me over some Potterhead page. Tonight, I stumbled on this exquisite example:

The Cauldron is a social group for those of pagan and witchy interests, and one Nedda posted this beautiful handmade portable ingredient kit, made originally for a LARP (live-action role playing) event. It's yet one more delicious, not to mention useful, accessory I'd like to try making myself. Stout leather, straps, rivets, buckles and bottles go into the making of this kit, which folds like a book.

Oregon Leather Company, a nearly 100-year-old institution in downtown Portland, will have most of what I need to create this project. . . . just as it has helped me make potion belt-kits, book bindings, gauntlets, and a good many other dashing yet practical accessories. A good potion-master is always prepared; an ace in the hole, my grandfather said, or your ass in a crack!

Above: The spine of the "book".

Salmissra Slytherin's Spindle

Picture the scene. Your home, winter, circa 1000 c.e.

There's a nice crackly fire in the hearth, some meat and bread and perhaps berry-preserve tarts on the wooden dining table along with a jug of honey-mead, and a cat and dog curled near the flames (maybe even a large snake, if your home happens to be Slytherin's). It's cold as Baba Yaga's tits outside but luckily, besides the fire, you've got lots of woven or knitted woolly blankets, sweaters and cloaks to keep warm in. But in this era, there is no Target. No Pendleton, no Pier One, no Nordstrom's; not even a Jo-Anne's with a bulk yarn section. Where'd you get that woolly yarn?

You're sitting there making it, of course!

A thousand years ago, the spinning wheel (and following that, more advanced spinning machines) had not been introduced to Europe. In part because of this, spinning industries and guilds didn't exist, either. You might have a club of women and girls who hung out together, gossipping like mad; but a lot of spinning of yarn for knitting, and thread for weaving, was done at home . . . and this is why fairy-tales about magic spinning equipment, or daughters too lazy to spin, abound in European folklore. In order to have any clothing, in addition to tanned leather or felt, people had to spin fibers like flax or wool themselves.
All. The. Time.
And the only tool for this was the Drop-Spindle: a simple hanging bobbin that drew out and twisted carded fibers, powered by only the rotary momentum of a small weight called a whorl, gravity, and human fingers. Some time between 1000 and 500 c.e., a bright mind had the idea of attaching a separate and truly giant flywheel to the bobbin with a thin drive belt, inventing the Great-Wheel; and not long after, someone else turned this monstrosity into a safer and more efficient machine with a medium-sized wheel powered separately by a foot-treadle, giving us the kind of wheel still used today. But the humble spindle, a tool at least 8000 years old, still has one important advantage: Ever try to stuff a spinning wheel into your letter carrier's bag?

While I grew up, Mom had a drop-spindle, but I never learned to use it; and Mom, busy and frustrated, never taught me. It was only during the summer of last year (2017) that I saw it in action again and fell in love with drop-spinning. I realized how simple a spindle is to make (like, dude, it's a round weight and a stick, ok?), and soon I had made three of my own spindles from bits of scrap wood, quickly turning them into works of art. Later that year, the sinister "Maleficent" or Fate spindle --- a truly cursed-looking fairy-tale spindle --- got made in time for Hallowe'en and brought to events. Now, I spin waiting for the bus. I spin on the bus! I spin at home, in the car when I'm a passenger, and at events, to relax and be productive in spare moments.

This, my latest creation, came about from an old bracelet I'd had for years and loved, yet was too small for me to wear without breaking a knuckle to get in on (my hands are huuuge!). The bracelet came from India and seemed like a relic from an ancient tomb. This year, with spindles on my brain, I had the idea to turn the underappreciated bracelet into the whorl of a new spindle. Using a disk of turquoise, some skull beads of green howlite, and a combination of metallic bronze paint and patina chemical by the brand Sophisticated Finishes to create a verdigris texture, I matched the bracelet's style, with a spiralling shaft like a snake; I molded a cobra head on top, since how can one go wrong with a cobra as creative medicine? I attached the bracelet itself to the shaft using spokes of wire and beads to create an open whorl, like a tiny flywheel, which according to physics is actually more efficient than a disk.

The result looks like an artifact that might have been found in an ancient tomb, perhaps in Egypt or India, where cobras are revered. Fans could also play with the idea of the spindle being a relic from a burial in a certain British fen; after all, Slytherin had descendants, so there must have been a woman . . . who maybe owned her own bewitched spindle, whether or not it was as foully cursed as Maleficent's! (Muggles beware.)

What I care about is, besides looking cool, this tool works well. Here it is with a rapidly-growing body of new yarn on its shaft, which I'm spinning from some truly beautiful Merino wool and silk fiber blends I bought on my vacation in Port Townsend.

Hand-spinning: Just another weird, old old school witchy woman craft done as a hobby by this not-quite-a-crone, in addition to brewing potions.

Note: Pretty much any craft can be "magized" or enchanted. Hand-spun yarn, made with continuous intent or with herbs and oils blended into the fibers, is no exception. So a bewitched spindle isn't as far-fetched as it may sound, and fairy-tales are closer than they appear.

"Just 'cuz ...you know."

"And now, a word from our sponsors!"

A little one for the great one. . . .

you know you're a hardcore Snape fan

when you're not only comfortable wearing black but you can see every color of the rainbow in it
and you dress like him every chance you get (except at work since like maybe it's a factory so they won't permit frock robes)
and you do your makeup more to look like Snape than you do to be conventionally attractive

when you can't fuckin wait until you not only have a house but you have a really cool spooky house with a huge fully-equiped lab

when your pockets always end up full of vaguely identifiable shit
because you think it might make a good ingredient

when you know he owns you heart and soul and you've given up pretending otherwise and it's ok
and you've got him on your home altar instead of Zeus or Buddha or something

when you have no need of therapy when you come home
even on your shittiest days
and you only wash your hair maybe like once every three weeks

when you don't give a flying thestral turd about JK anymore or the overbloated Fantastic What-the-fuck-ever franchise or really even all the Potter universe geekery bullshit that the media and even some of your circle friends try to force down your throat with a toilet plunger like on a daily basis now
and you're totally arrogant about being how you are
and if anyone tries to diss you for not being fan-this or fan-that you cheerfully tell them to go to hell in a unicorn-pulled handcart

when you own as many boxes full of potion shit as you do clothes
yet you've pretty much lost interest in anything like Potter-themed balls because honestly it's so cheesy what is the fucking point
oh and besides you'd rather spend the money on an overseas apothecary tour plane ticket or rare ingredients or a like fuckin cauldron finally


and when other chicks are going on about clothes TV shows music or whatever while you're squeeing over your cute new antique drugs and poisons atomizer

when you would live and breathe the shit
IF you didn't have a day job and most of your brewing gear and shit wasn't all boxed up
but even on your brokest days you have that old-world sense of taste where quality counts
and find ways to savor the more complex flavors
oh yeah and you can't just drink your damn booze or juice or whatever like a damn normal person because if there's two or more drinkable things available then you're like compelled to be a freak about it and mix them together

when you've lost all interest in these celebrity fucks who are handsome and nothing else
and everything you ever hated about 007 is magnified like ten times because compared to a certain other spy he's a piece of womanizing shit
or when your fantasy phase pattern looks like this:
latest teen glitter fadboy = never
Draco = ten weeks
Lucius = ten years
Severus = FOREVER

and
ALL.
YOU CARE ABOUT.
IS SNAPE.

seriously fuck the rest it's garbage

then you know you are FUCKING legit.

~

Yes, it's a humor piece; but it's also true that pretty much all of the above (save for the photo of cutting, since I'm not of the necessary inclination or desperation required to cut) do apply to me, and I've described them straight from my heart
... what can I say? Snape has been there for some of my very shittiest times, and now that he's back, I feel powerful and comforted. Just don't bother me with that geeky franchise fan shit --- I am busy expanding my own soul, with help from an archetype that outgrew his own world.

Back to Practical Magic

Even for those of us who actually practice magic and know what is typical and what is grossly exaggerated, there's something still charming and exciting about a touch of the sort of magic that's visible: the kind that is seemingly impossible yet almost within reach, and that pushes our sense of wonder.

If you're a Wiccan, general eclectic pagan or any kind of real mage, there's plenty to scoff at in the movie Practical Magic, but there's plenty to love, too. Most magic may not run in the blood as blatantly and consistently as it does in the Owens women, but the fate of the Kennedys makes it hard to rule out the possibility of family curses, and magic-oriented relatives do like to pass on their skills and teachings to worthy heirs. Perhaps the most beautiful aspect of the story is its emphasis on the importance of a community of supportive and caring women. It also suggests that being yourself is the best way to be, even if it means being distinctly weird.

I just read The Rules of Magic, which is Practical Magic's prequel, and enjoyed it. Mind, titles like that I find somewhat annoying, since they imply an absolutism (as in, THE Rules, period), but it makes sense for the story.

I loved Practical Magic ever since I rented it from now-defunct Hollywood video, only to find myself years later as part of a group of women friends (Witches of the Kitchen Table, now isn't that a perfectly broomtastic bomb-ass name?) who go so far as to have annual Practical Magic parties. And what witch wouldn't love an excuse to drink Midnight Margaritas, unless she prefers red wine?

This movie always makes me pine for a beautiful old house like the one the Owens Aunts live in. But it also gently encourages me to unwrap some of the barbed wire that surrounds my heart, and open up to the possibility of falling in love, for what would be the first time in my life --- for me, a notable step beyond mere friends and screw-buddies. It whispers that I'm not subject to any family curse, I'm mage enough to handle any difficulties, and I'm not only a pretty sex object but a lovable being, so why not? (Idolizing Snape isn't a good enough excuse, so it must just be that I'm picky.)

But an equally strong draw for me is the magic itself. In terms of the world of real Magistery, it has the most in common with folk magic, hoodoo and the women herb-healers of olden times --- what might be called "low" magic; hence, the word "practical" is perfect here. Most importantly, it feels very organic, natural and feminine, even at its most edgy and vengeful or retaliatory.

I'll just be blunt here: While the Harry Potter stuff is fun, it's always bugged me, and not because it's so obviously stereotypical; stereotypes exist for a reason. No: it's because it's patriarchal. It's a Western-framework, hero-worshipping, old boys' club, old money type of world. With little boys being absolute shits to each other, and waving exploding dick-sticks in each other's faces. And little girls doing the same thing, because they're in that same boys' world, playing that boys' game. It either belittles or appropriates in ridiculous ways many of the more subtle forms of magic, which is great for CG effects, but now that it's nearly taken over anything to do with magic? Let me be frank: I find it annoying as fuck.

As a devotee specifically of the Potterverse's most brutally divisive character (you either love him or you hate him, if you hate him don't bother talking to me), I feel it's no less than my duty to be one of those who steps back, calls bullshit on this massively inflated set of franchises, and does not get swept away by the braying herd. I think quite a few of us liked Snape because, despite his obvious flaws, his little-boy emotional wounds and vicious tongue and inability to forget and forgive, he did espouse more than "wand-waving" and dedicated himself just as much to more subtle forms of magic. A pity, then, that despite the students' supposedly thorough training in astronomy and Merlin knows what else, it always came back to the goddamned patriarchal stick-waving. Oh yes, I have felt Done --- Capital D --- with the whole Potterworldfuckdomination many times over the past few years.

Thus, I also like the Practical Magic stories because they remind me that there is a vast magical world that existed for many years B.H.P., and thankfully, I'm old enough to remember it. I can recall when it was just Magica diSpell and Lord Maliss and The Worst Witch and the old Sabrina (before all this dark Satanic ridiculous Hollywood garbage reloaded), and a little girl who made potions out of things she found in the fields. And I treasure those days, even as I continue to accept Snape (who perhaps above all fanfiction characters has really expanded in archetypal form beyond his parent stories, thanks to his complexity!).

Wand-waving may be fun, but it's the quiet arts of Snape combined with the folk ways of Practical Magic and my own women friends that lift me up and whisper to my heart, saying: "The gift is in you!"

And of course, because it's so many people's favorite scene, here is a clip of Midnight Margaritas:
https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=DVLLs-5oCB8