Tomorrow night is the year's midpoint Full Moon, in June . . . and in Capricorn: the moon exactly halfway around the calendar from the Capricorn Dark Moon of January. It's a great time to take stock of life.
Curiously, it was last night that I finally finished my short fic from last winter, Anima Invictus, whose topic is the passionate love within the soul, achieving what is most desired, savoring the sacred Now, and combating your inner shadows with confidence and wise choices while on the path to fulfilment. More than anything, to trust one's inner power. This is an ideal time to re-address the soul's direction.
Full moon over Rotterdam
Astrologers warned back in January that we might not get done all we had planned, or even flirted with attempting. With first Saturn and now five planets in retrograde, my spring slipped away in a busy haze of work, and more work. Old habits, old patterns of life in this city, and planning how to break them. Being glad certain phases were o-ver.
Never mind a sprinkling of social events --- and forget the freight truck of anxiety about my damn house selling out from under me! Of always having to keep my psychological knees bent under me, ready to jump! Strangers, potential buyers, in and out with scarcely a moment's notice! Try to maintain a sense of structure and security about your year with that going on!
But despite this retrograde nowhere-insanity, I've been far from idle. I've accomplished a vast amount toward getting back my power, my connection to magic I felt so close to losing not long ago. I've either worked on, or gathered supplies for, pet projects on my to-do list for years. Ironically, with Saturn in Capricorn, I've made the most of an Earthly home and job situation that at times feels as tenuous as Jell-O --- learning some important lessons from it, namely, that true Home is a place inside yourself, as is true wealth. Even at my poor factory job, between watching the machines I've filled my hours with research and reading, with writing, reflecting and searching. I've paired that with more studies at home. Now the question hangs large:
What, above any and all else, do I most want to be?
Is there something that takes precedence over everything else, money, traveling, writing, sleep, sex, human love, and the rest included? What would that be? And how would it influence the decisions I find myself wanting, and needing, to make?
At the moment, I can't think of anything that big --- except, perhaps, being a mage. An alchemist of the soul. No matter what the hell else I am, what I do or where I go, I am more and more imagining it only in addition to walking a consciously magisterial path of study, of the Great Work. Of being happy in the moment, in the practice of that work in the Now.
Maybe I just never, ever want to give up my personal power the way I ended up doing this past decade, ever again. You can't draw happiness from an empty well.
But is there anything else, in addition to overall magistery, that I should focus on, yet cannot see from this moment or am having trouble making decisions about? Scientific work, maybe. But without seeing my immediate path ahead --- without feeling able to choose, command, or take charge right away --- this may be one of those times to "let go, and let God/dess."
I love how beautifully the Universe brings themes and energies together --- the pattern called "synchronicity". Following Sunday the 24th's Hawai'ian Solstice goddess ritual, I found Mooncircles has advice that continues to explore both Hawai'ian archetypes, underlying unity or interconnection, and the idea of taking back your power, of tapping into this greater web of force:
"To be clear, these were triggers for my unfolding, not the planets or the Gods acting upon me. Astrology is powerful, but it does not ever have the power facilitate an event in your life that your Soul doesn’t already want to experience. This was about ME --- wanting me to heal & awaken.
Interconnection vs. Victimhood:
Interconnection is a reality. We aren’t taught to see it that way, though. We think our childhood relationships are separate from our adult ones, and what happens in one part of the world can’t possibly affect us, here. We perceive the solid flesh of this body confirms our separateness, not our interconnection. We forget that our Spirit is intimately connected to One and All, not bound by anything. An eruption on an island 200 miles away, in the world out there, couldn’t possibly connect to an inner eruption, inside here. A movement of a planet in the sky couldn’t possibly be triggering the next phase of our unfolding. But as those of us who study astrology continually discover… it is all connected.
As I reflected on how to hold my experience, I realized that for those of us who feel soooo much, it is easy to give our authority (for feeling good, okay, happy, bad or sad) to forces outside of our self, which can create victim consciousness. Are we powerless to Pele’s dance… or made more powerful, more centered in Divine Consciousness herself, for being so connected?
Perhaps, in giving authority to forces outside of our self, we are empath-ing a larger field of “belief”. My neighbor suggested the islands test us. There is a fine line between superstition and reverence for Mystery. The idea that the Gods, Goddesses, planets… anything out side of our self… controls our fate, is an ancient one. It harkens all the way back to earliest civilizations, and lingers in the shadow of fortune-telling astrology (so many clients come to me with fatalistic ideas after being told what’s possible --- or more accurately, what’s impossible --- for them). Yet when we buy into superstition, we give power to fear. When we partner with Mystery, we acknowledge that there are energies beyond our understanding, and we locate the faith and trust to be okay with that.
The fates do not control us. Our Soul directs our life experience. The more we center in that Divine Self authority, the less likely we are to feel victimized when we experience events that rock and shock us.
At this Full Moon, where is your authority? In fear and anxiety, or truth and faith?
Because this is life, isn’t it? Aren’t we all in the same boat, the one in which none of us gets out alive? Hawaiians say, about this horrific and terrifying volcano event affecting so many lives, that this loss and destruction is a natural cycle. That this destruction isnecessary for cleaning house. And, that it’s the aloha of the community, the compassion and love shared for one another, that will create grace for all.
This is Goddess wisdom. This is tender compassion -and- sober realism. The bracing clarity of the Cancer Sun and Capricorn Full Moon require our compassion. Stuff happens that is sad, disheartening, terrifying. And since what we give authority to, grows, how we hold our experience, how we treat our self and one another makes all the difference. Indeed, it’s the only thing we take with us beyond the grave.
When the hot lava bubbled up from my depths, I was terrified. Yet it liberated me into a new relationship with myself. The inner landscape is new, now. Lava boiling up from the deeps, the destruction we experience, creates new land formations and gives birth to more of these gorgeous islands. How’s that for perspective? Every time our own unconscious erupts, as it often does, we also are giving birth to our self. Our Soul directs growth through these experiences. Not the other way around.
We are not leaves of a tree being blown about at the whims of the wind, planets, Pele or fate. We are the taproot, as challenging as this can be to remember. We are souls on a customized all-inclusive journey, one designed especially for our maximum unfolding.
For all of us, this will include at least one, and more likely many, dances with Pele.
At this Full Moon, take a moment to call back your energy, into your body. Feel it settle into your sitz bone, the root chakra and run through your pelvis, legs, feet, down to the Earth. You are the roots of the tree, the captain of your ship. You are the Divine made manifest, and you are having one of the most difficult, gorgeous, complex experiences a Soul can have: an incarnation on Earth. Savor the dance."
Savoring the Mystery: a weird little oil blend I bought at a neighborhood fair, multilayered and -coloured as is so much of life, sitting on top of a sheet of incantations
A small box I'm preparing with cutouts and paint, in which to keep magickal paraphernalia. Behind is my crystal sphere, on a nice pedestal I found for it at a dump-rescue resale shop
No comments:
Post a Comment