So Much for That Batch!

Moving is rarely fun, though it can be theraputic, in a Saturnian slap-in-the-face, pull-you-up-by-the-roots kind of way. But it's also good for getting moving certain things or aspects of life that have been still, for . . . well, too long. When something gets too still, to the point of becoming stagnant or decayed, it's time to clear it out.

The past few days I've been sorting, packing --- to what degree my poor lower back can handle, anyway --- and in general, preparing my space for potential buyers to view it. All stuff, old and new, has to be evaluated, stored, stashed, or at least made to look presentable. And in a month or so, after a sale is made, everything must go --- including me, and my housemate-friend Debbie. Most of my rudimentary "lab" has already been packed, minus a selection of herbs and books, which makes any potistry work on all but the smallest scale more difficult.

In the cleanout process, I've just opened a ginkgo tincture that had been going (macerating) for months. After cleaning the annoying labels off a spare booze bottle (one of my most hated tasks), I strained the tincture and decanted it in. Only then did I look at the inner surface of the macerating mason jar, and get a nasty surprise. The alcohol had broken down the sealer! It was flaking, sluffing off, and the lid's metal had begun corroding. Who knows what foul chemicals from the lid liner had seeped into the tincture over all those months.

I felt I had no choice. True to Snape's attitude of "only the best", I threw the tincture away. Down the drain with it!

"Not good enough, Mister Potter."

I didn't even get photos of my failed batch. Better luck next time --- or at least, better methods. In my opinion, it's preferable to keep standards high than to put a dubious product into your body and potentially reap the consequences. When next I settle in and set up a new laboratory, I can always obtain more ginkgo leaf . . . and, now that I've learned, a safer set of maceration equipment, at least for long-term steepings. Especially in business but also for private use, only the most stringent standards I can attain need apply.

I, and anyone to whom I give my creations, is worth nothing less than the best.

Class in Session: Beautiful Day May Wine

Sometimes, all you need is to take a walk to get an inspiration for a project, art piece . . . or potion. (I'd assert that Snape at his least bitter would concur that potions at their highest level are indeed an art form.)

Currently in this city, plants and trees are exploding and unfurling gracefully into bloom all around us. One week later, a tree that was bare and gnarled has erupted into enthusiastic puffs of cotton-candy-pink flowers, and I feel my chest swell with love every time I see it or any of its kindred. The alley walk to the tax office even becomes a paradisical garden meditation.

Cherry tree sp.

The beauty on every side has been helping to temper the bittersweetness of my impending move from 19th Street. I've always liked the upper Northeast district, taking walks through it, visiting the parks or popping in and out of shops. I feel like I've hardly gotten reacquainted with it and here I am having to uproot again. (Quick! Which eating places and shops do I still have money to patron while I'm here?)

On April 25th I went on such a walk, tied to running a small errand. As I retraced my steps, I gathered from the flowers and trees and plants I'd passed on the way: Cherry trees and rosemary shrubs, lemon balm and mint, dandelion and deadnettle, currant and hawthorn. My paper sack held a veritable celebration of new plant life, of all the energies that my early European ancestors would have greeted joyfully with the return of spring, and thus their own lives sustained by Earth's abundance. How could I not turn all this stuff into a delicious potion?

As I walked, I gathered things --- without conscious thought at first, but I soon made a point of it --- on a seven-power basis. Seven dandelion heads, seven mint leaves, seven bunches of currant . . . Whether it was distinct blossoms or clusters depended on the nature of the plant, but the principle remained. The exception was the candy-pink cherry blossoms, whose exuberance and my love for such seemed to demand a double handful; so, into my brown paper went loads of pink.

Potistry is one part knowledge and wisdom, but an almost equally large part is instinct. So I felt when it came to mixing the base. I went with a seven-part mix again, which included two red wines, as well as the more powerful vodka for added preservative power. But why was I reaching for my leftover Thai Basil soda, or this hibiscus juice blend? My deep mind suggested these flavors might all go well together, the sweetness of soda and wine balancing the alcohol --- just as the handfuls of flowers balanced the few potent herbs I felt drawn to add, Perovskia, rosemary and dandelion among them (I consider dandelion, in all its cancer-beating bitterness, more an herb even if I'm using the flower).

I laid all the blooms and bits in a mason jar, the more intact clusters reverently, then poured the jar carefully full of the base, capped and swirled it. Then I set it in the sun for awhile, to be imbued with the same force that brought forth those splendid flowers and herbs. For me, it's not only a celebration of spring, but of the particular creative enthusiasm and spirit of the NE district and my relationship with it. And, of course, a celebration of my time spent in this particular sweet house, and another year of my life. I don't know about other folks, but in a world of too much fear, judgement, loathing and pain, I can always use more joy and well-grounded love. When something makes you happy just looking at it, never mind doing it, you've likely discovered a good thing to keep in your life.

Blessed be.

Sevenfold (7 Blessings) Floral Spring Wine


--- Base (Menstruum): ---
1/2 cup Sole brand Vermouth, extra dry white
1/2 c. Industrialist red wine
1/2 c. Chocolate Shop red wine
1/2 c. Thai basil Som Soda
1/2 c. Brewed herb tea juice: hibiscus, rosehip, licorice, cinnamon, orange juice, lemon juice (This is mix-n-match to the best of memory, since Trader Joes Aguafrescas are discontinued.)
1/2 c. Vodka.

--- Plant Ingredients: ---
7 rosemary blossoms
7 applemint leaves
A fennel tuft, young leaf
7 sorcerers' violet blossoms
7 dandelion blossoms
7 deadnettle tops
Large cup of pink cherry petals
7 borage blossoms
7 hawthorn bloom clusters
7 lemon balm leaves
7 redcurrant bloom clusters
7 star geranium flowers
7 catmint leaves
7 dragons blood (bugleweed) flowers
7 russian sage (perovskia) leaves
7 sage leaves

Whew!
Blend menstruum in a large liddable mason canning car. Add plant materials, after infusing with blessings. Cap jar, potentize, and set in sun for a couple hours to imbue with sun's energy. Continue to steep herbs in liqueur for at least another week (mine went for more like two weeks), strain, and bottle.

April 25th

Mystics of the Dark Night

St. John of the Cross was a mystic who wrote of the transformation of the spirit, and the necessary challenges and introspective journeying one had to experience before true union with the Divine could be achieved.

He spoke in particular of what is known as the Dark Night of the Soul, which I cherish, because it suggests that the mystical road isn't all hearts and flowers; rather, it can be painful, winding and thorny, and that there is no easy stairway to heaven. If your life seems to rightly suck at the moment, never fear: This too shall pass, and meanwhile, you are learning the needed lessons to proceed onward. The Severan mode of discipline and "hard knocks" may well fit with John's understanding of the Quest.

Some of John's writings are quite beautiful and evocative. Here are two of his poems.

DARK NIGHT

On a dark secret night,
starving for love and deep in flame,
O happy lucky flight!
unseen I slipped away,
my house at last was calm and safe.

Blackly free from light,
disguised and down a secret way,
O happy lucky flight!
in darkness I escaped,
my house at last was calm and safe.

On that happy night --- in
secret; no one saw me through the dark ---
and I saw nothing then,
no other light to mark
the way but fire pounding my heart.

That flaming guided me
more firmly than the noonday sun,
and waiting there was he
I knew so well --- who shone
where nobody appeared to come.

O night, my guide!
O night more friendly than the dawn!
O tender night that tied
lover and loved one,
loved one in the lover fused as one!

On my flowering breasts
which I had saved for him alone,
he slept and I caressed
and fondled him with love,
and cedars fanned the air above.

Wind from the castle wall
while my fingers played in his hair:
its hand serenely fell
wounding my neck, and there
my senses vanished in the air.

I lay. Forgot my being,
and on my love I leaned my face.
All ceased. I left my being,
leaving my cares to fade
among the lilies far away.

THE FOUNTAIN

How well I know that flowing spring
   in black of night.

The eternal fountain is unseen.
How well I know where she has been
   in black of night.

I do not know her origin.
None. Yet in her all things begin
   in black of night.

I know that nothing is so fair
and earth and firmament drink there
   in black of night.

I know that none can wade inside
to find her bright bottomless tide
   in black of night.

Her shining never has a blur;
I know that all light comes from her
   in black of night.

I know her streams converge and swell
and nourish people, skies and hell
   in black of night.

The stream whose birth is in this source
I know has a gigantic force
   in black of night.

The stream from but these two proceeds
yet neither one, I know, precedes
   in black of night.

The eternal fountain is unseen
in living bread that gives us being
   in black of night.

She calls on all mankind to start
to drink her water, though in dark,
   for black is night.

O living fountain that I crave,
in bread of life I see her flame
   in black of night.

Death, Sex and Lessons: Pluto in Retrograde

Hfh

Class in Session: A Divining Birthday Brew

Cjfj

Saturn Alert! Snape's planet goes haywire

In my course of trying to stay abreast of what the planets are doing, aided and abetted by a friend who keeps posting Astrology materials and updates on social media, I ran across this.

I haven't yet learned what happens to life as a result of trines and squares and transits and conjuctions, and so on. But a Saturn retrograde? Yeah, I'll try and wrap my head around that.

In my own little universe, this sort of thing easily translates, as it did this time, into:

"Merlin's nose, I haven't even had time to brew a potion for the Aries Dark Moon, and now this? (No thank you to landladies coming.)" Tomorrow, I think, or the next day. Must brew . . . wanna brew . . .

What also crosses my mind is the question of how to combine this latest development with my potential travel plans, all the while cautioning myself: "Heed the planets, but don't let that stop you from living your life. Set a plan, keep it flexible, and just fuckin' go."

At this stage in life, I know I have baggage and past issues, which are no doubt holding me back, and I'm ready to clear those little bastards out and reconcile 'em so that I can, in true work-minded Saturn spirit, get on with it. More and more I'm hoping that any trips I take will be an opportunity for deep and much-needed growth --- a means to break away, both on an outer adventure and a freeing within of a soul still bound by useless inhibitions and outmoded strings of energetic attachment.

A simple breaking away began on the 13th, with my hair-cutting. False color it may be, but because it goes against my family's preference, it encapsulates a freeing from a set of expectations that haven't done me any obvious good above other choices I might make. In other words: Is my making you happy by being blonde worth it, since it didn't get me any more wealthy or married or even laid than being black-haired? I think not. I'm ready to leave that, and so much more, in the dust behind me. But it means cleaning out some dusty spiritual cabinets full of soured brews first.

In the next few months, the iron hand of Severan-style discipline (whether or not gloved in velvet) may make its appearance to me in matters of my next career efforts and possibly partnership. Moving is of course one stricture I face already. But it's clear to me I need a fresh perspective to sort through some things before putting my full juice behind my work again. I certainly don't plan to be idle in the meantime. And then? I don't know, but I'll admit I'm curious what's on the plate for September 6th!

Here are a couple of interpretations on what Saturn's behavior is conducive to enabling.


From Astrology King:

"Saturn Retrograde 2018 starts on April 17 at 9° Capricorn and ends on September 6 at 2° Capricorn.

Saturn is the Lord of Karma. Retrograde motion is a time when karma is sorted out. Therefore, Saturn retrograde is a double dose of karma. Karma is a form of energy that is very real. Like Saturn, it is very closely bound to time.

Past, present, and future blur into one. If you have been bad in the past, then at a certain predestined time, an event will occur to teach you a lesson. If you been good in the past, then at a predestined time, an event will occur to reward you for your good deeds. With Saturn in retrograde motion, the karma will relate to how responsible you have been in the past.

The lessons associated with Saturn retrograde 2018 relate to your thoughts and words. Saturn retrograde 2018 will be especially challenging if you have a history of teasing or verbally abusing people. Gloomy thoughts, bad news or loneliness could have a negative effect on your mental well-being.

Saturn direct 2018 can be used to replace negative thoughts with positive ones. This could be a major positive transformation in your life. Before I go into more detail about Saturn retrograde 2018, I will talk about Saturn retrograde in the natal chart and then the general meaning of Saturn retrograde in transit.

Saturn Retrograde meaning:

Saturn retrograde in your natal chart means there was a problem with self-discipline or avoiding responsibility in a former life. Due to illness, immaturity or disrespect, you may have neglected looking after your loved ones. Perhaps you failed to earn a living to support your parents, or ran out on your partner and children. There will be some lessons or extra effort required this life to pay back this karmic debt. You must learn the lessons so you don’t have to go through this difficult cycle again.

Saturn retrograde by position and aspect shows the areas of life, or the personality traits and behaviors, which specifically need extra development. The greatest Saturn nature is disciplined, responsible, stable, respectful and reliable. A healthy Saturn is hard-working and dedicated. The aim is to be physically and emotionally strong enough to endure the hardships of life, to take responsibility for yourself and your family.

Saturn retrograde in your chart could show as sadness, depression, loneliness, tiredness or lack of motivation. Disrespect of parents and authority figures may be holding you back. Whatever is stunting your productiveness is what Saturn retrograde focuses on. This could well have been an ongoing problem hindering success over many incarnations. Events or relationships will keep reinforcing the problem area this life, especially during Saturn retrograde phases, until you master it.

Saturn retrograde in transit is a regular cycle occurring just over every twelve months, lasting about 4½ months, and spanning 6 or 7 degrees of the zodiac. Transiting Saturn retrograde is a time of limitation, restriction, anxiety and fear. During the previous months since Saturn entered the retrograde zone, you will have dealt with particular issues involving your duties and responsibilities as they relate to your dependents and career.

Saturn retrograde means that whatever area of responsibility you have developed is so important, extra time is needed to take stock and make sure everything in order before you continue. You may be tested to make sure you are ready to take on the extra responsibility. The lessons you learn might be hard but they will be valuable.

On the other hand, it could be that a negative Saturn behaviors such as sadness or shyness has gotten out of control. In this case, the Saturn retrograde months will offer a chance to recognize and admit the problem. Things may get so out of control that an intervention or some drastic event must occur to shake you out of your depression or isolation.

By the time Saturn stations direct, you should have come to terms with the relevant issues and be ready for the next phase. Focus and motivation leads to productiveness, achievement and recognition.

Saturn Retrograde 2018:

Saturn stations retrograde on Tuesday April 17, 2018 at 09°08′ Capricorn. From now until Saturn direct on September 6 is the phase where you learn your lessons. Looking at the chart and aspect grid below you will see there is only one major aspect involving Saturn stationary retrograde. Mercury square Saturn may not be especially strong with a 4 degree orb. But Saturn stationary retrograde conjunct an intense fixed star makes this a very significant influence.

Fixed star Facies at 08°33′ Capricorn has an intensifying influence on Saturn retrograde. Facies makes you more focused and driven, for better or worse. Combined with Mercury square Saturn, this could become a bigger problem if you are prone to negative thinking. Thinking bad things about others could easily turn to victimization. Taken to the extreme by a ruthless leader, persecution on a large-scale is possible.

Mercury square Saturn means the Saturn Retrograde 2018 lessons involve your thoughts and words. Communicating your plans and ideas will be difficult because of negative thinking and misunderstandings. Lack of patience and concentration means it is easy to become distracted. Do not rely on the words of others, and be careful with your own.

When negotiating, doing business, studying or making decisions, it is critically important that you pay attention to detail. While Saturn is stationary retrograde in particular (April 13 to 21), it would be wiser to avoid important negotiations. If you cannot avoid contract, business or legal matters it would be very helpful if you sought trusted or professional advice.

Saturn retrograde 2018 will be especially challenging if you have a history of teasing or verbally abusing people. Gloomy thoughts, bad news or loneliness could have a negative effect on your mental well-being. You may experience some distance or separation in close relationships. If so, it would be the karmic result of using your thoughts and words to make another person feel bad about themself.

The minor aspects from Moon and Venus to Saturn retrograde are called sesqui-squares (135°). These challenging aspects represent a breakup in existing conditions. This reinforces the link between verbal or psychological abuse and a relationship separation. A breakup because of nasty words or a breakdown in communications would be a wakeup call to change your way of thinking.

Gloomy thoughts, bad news or loneliness are possible even if you have been perfectly nice to all you meet. If you are prone to low moods or depression, Saturn retrograde 2018 may intensify your negative thinking. You may find it harder to get bad thoughts out of your head. However, fixed star Facies will also help you better understand why you tend to dwell on the negative side of things.

Saturn retrograde 2018 will help you recognize your own depressive moods and negative thought patterns. This is a great opportunity to erase any negative and destructive ideas about yourself and your life that have played over and over in your brain for years. Once Saturn turns direct you can start taping over the old words with positive new ones.

Saturn Direct 2018:

Saturn stations direct on Thursday September 6, 2018 at 02°32′ Capricorn. In this direct phase you put into practice what you have learned. The outlook is much brighter and suggests that the Saturn retrograde lessons have been well learned. There are only positive aspects to Saturn stationary direct and the fixed star involved is also more positive than before.

Fixed star Polis at 03°28′ Capricorn gives success, ambition, truthfulness and domination. It also gives a keen perceptions and profound spiritual understanding. With Saturn in particular this star gives a very strong work ethic.

Mercury trine Saturn in particular shows that the Saturn retrograde lessons were learned. This is a big turn around from Mercury square Saturn retrograde. Mercury trine Saturn direct is good for studying and anything requiring sustained mental work. Good concentration and attention to detail means you will not make mistakes. You will get things done neatly and on time.

Clear and positive thinking and communications make this is a good time for making important decisions. This is also a good time for serious discussions, negotiations and business dealings. With common sense and an eye toward practical results, this is the ideal time to sign contracts, especially those involving real estate and shares.

Mercury trine Uranus opens up your mind to new possibilities. There may be some exciting news coming your way, or chance encounters with eccentric, or in some other way stimulating people. Flashes of insight are possible when awake, or asleep through vivid dreaming. Any psychic abilities will be enhanced. In fact, this would be an excellent time to start studying astrology or another occult subject.

Your original way of looking at things would help find solutions to nagging problems. This is the perfect aspect for replacing negative thoughts patterns with new positive ones. Mercury trine Saturn will help cement these new positive idea in your brain.

Saturn trine Uranus represents a transition phase in life. This is the ideal time to make positive changes in your life because they should run smoothly. Change will not be upsetting or erratic as it sometimes can. You will stay calm and patient, planning every step methodically.

This is also a good time for experimentation and creative self-expression. You can find new ways of doing old things without rocking the boat. Perhaps you could take the lead in your career to start needed changes and gain respect and recognition from your boss. You may be given more responsibility but also be allowed enough freedom to tackle the work in your own way

Saturn Direct forms a grand trine aspect pattern with Mercury and Uranus. This aspect patterns holds an enormous amount of potential that requires conscious effort to unlock. There are more than enough challenging aspects in the Saturn direct chart to give you the motivation to make the most of the opportunities coming your way."

Lynn Koiner says:

" During the period when Saturn is transiting retrograde, it is essential that we go back and assess and solidify commitments made, projects started and responsibilities undertaken in the past. This must be done before we can continue. Saturn transiting retrograde provides the opportunity to reassess what we have taken on, to finally say NO, to back out of a commitment and to improve the organization of a project. While the process is going on, while you are working with what you have at hand, you should be warned against taking on any unnecessary responsibilities or long-range commitments. Only deal with issues from the past; do not take on new ones!

Saturn turning retrograde gives us the opportunity to go back and reorganize or renegotiate any activities or commitments that seem to be a source of frustration. If you merely persist under Saturn frustrations, the frustrations will merely persist! Weed out the source of frustration at this time. Remember, my definition for being responsible is in knowing how much you can do before you start to feel frustrated, trapped or confined – and drawing the line and saying NO before you reach that point! It is essential that you do not start any new business activity while Saturn is retrograde!! You will only find that a lot of reorganizing has to be done before any successes can be made."

For all its sinister karmic stigma, what a pretty planet is Saturn!

Such an interest in this type of thing, in a way, makes me laugh. For all the waving of exploding toy sticks they do at each other, for all the obvious good it did them, why do they bother to learn the movements of the planets at Hogwarts, anyway? For all the success HP enjoyed, it's clear to me your average Muggle reader doesn't give a Firebolt-flying fuck about actual Astrology, as long as it's mentioned somewhere and sounds cute.
So, sue me --- I do.
I'm curious.
And I sure as hell don't assume I know it all already.

Chocolate, Wine, and Two Tablespoons of Oil

Last week's quietly frantic effort ended in the climax that was yesterday. Not my father's birthday, though it was that, too, but rather the combined hit of two events that all but mandated I shift shape. Or should I say, shift Snape -- something I've been longing to do since October anyway.


I could not fully Snapeshift earlier, because of the commitment represented by my hair. It's all right for Alan Rickman to wear a wig, because not only did the man have too little real hair at the end, he also had other roles; he couldn't afford to walk down a normal sidewalk and risk people reacting to him as though he were still the character, because he so very thoroughly is that character and always will be. But me? I have that luxury. For me, it's permanent and nothing less. Worst I'll get is, "What, you going to a Potter party?"

Which I did, last night.

But first came the March for Science! As a science bachelors, I felt it was necessary to participate this year -- last year I either didn't catch it in time, or had other commitments. With scientific reason and fact continually under siege by blatant lies and denial ("alternative facts"? Are you, pardon me, fucking kidding me? Snape would grit his crooked teeth at this era of pure scumbaggery), I feel it's all but a sin to not be involved.

Repping all my respective, ah, fields at the March for Science. Down with the Dark Lord!

This year, the timing was perfect, and I decided to Snapeshift for the march, as well. Snape is the closest thing his little fictional world has to a "hard" scientist; he's basically a wizard chemist, and as I miss chemistry more and more and just as equally pine for actual space to make potions and brews without running up and down stairs or bumping my head on the ceiling --- not to mention, worrying about moving in two months --- I feel close to the spirit of someone who just wanted to be left alone with enough time, space, and money to experiment at his pleasure.


I raced to finish my new Snape accessories over the previous week's course. I finally got a frock-shirt (lightweight summer model!) sewn, altered from an existing shirt, and the pleasant grind of my Husqvarna sewing machine ran late into the evening.


Then it was back to finish what had taken even more time and work, but was worth it by its measure of sheer potions badassery: an "ammunition belt" of test tube vials, to be slung about the shoulders. Sewing leather by hand is a royal bitch, especially of a thick variety, so I'm very glad I discovered studs are strong enough to do the job alone, if you use a bunch of them; and why wouldn't you? They look fantastic. Because I am who I am, the belt had to be --- and is --- totally functional. And it is totally badass. How delicious it would have been, to see Rickman himself rocking a belt like this! On cue, Alan, whip out the one labeled "Veritaserum!" Now.

Me with new hair, frock and potion bandolier but sans makeup for the Science March and rally

The belt has a few details still yet to complete, and I want to create a couple of other small accessories, too. But it's an excellent start.



I wore the belt for the march, and the shorter and rattier of my black robes (for walking in!). I didn't bother with makeup; I'd save that for the party later. Turned out it was plenty, and people liked my getup and signs and requested photos. With parallels already drawn between Trump (or rather, the forces backing him) and the Dark Lord, and people like Betsy DeVos and Umbridge, my interpretation was a natch.

Signs for the Science March, rollable and reusable

Also joining us at the rally was a troupe of righteous, singing, "Raging Grannies" of the sort of old woman I'd like to be one day.

Don't mess with crones.

Take that, you science-doubting asses.

As I listened to them, an actual honeybee --- in the middle of downtown Portland --- landed, first on my sign, then my knee, and finally my bare hand. As though she knew the safest person to land on was this woman dressed like Severus Snape of all people, at a climate change oriented rally, who also happened to be writing a book about bees, and who did not fear her kind. I figured she needed a rest, so I let her sit on me for at least twenty minutes, watching as she cleaned her legs and face, and then either shat or dropped more pollen. I walked around carefully with her on me until, finally feeling perky again, the bee at last flew away. Factoring in circumstances, I considered the bee's presence a huge blessing. "Write that book," she also seemed to whisper.

After that totally cool incident, I partook of the other rally features. I got to handle a couple of real human brains, courtesy of Northwest Noggin --- and yes, I wore protective gloves! As a hardcore Snapeshifter and lover of creepy science and stuff in jars, how could I not take the plunge and get my paws slimy?

But I also marveled at the intricacy of those humble, firmly squishy, wrinkled lumps of flesh, the sheer power of them. They were dead now, but frozen somewhere inside still lay twenty billion neurons, and eighty years' worth of memories, fantasies, ideas and multitasking capability. We are fearfully and wonderfully made. Thank you, Creator, for my beautiful human brain, despite the torture of all its complex logic and twisted little thoughts!

Brains!

Finally, as part of the Noggin project, a man was leading a short activity of making black-ink prints on gel slabs, designed to convey a design like neurons. Mine came out great, of course, and we had a nice chat.

Black, of course. The teacher and I joked about it not mattering if I got this stuff on my clothes!

After the March for Science, back home I went to drop off my signs, so meticulously worked on until six o'clock this morning, resulting in a pitiful two hours of sleep. I ate a quick bite, then hurried to put finishing touches like labels on my costume. Never mind the makeup. I've done my own makeup since the beginning, and I knew just how to accentuate Snape's frown and disdainful sneer. Just the color and outline of lipstick to use to mimic Rickman's arch mouth. Damn, I thought, sizing myself up in the mirror, I look gooood.

In full-on "Sarkosian" Snape makeup. Soon to be loaded on caffeine, alcohol, sugar . . . basically, all the things you don't worry about once you tell fear- and guilt-based religions to sod off. Make mine black, please.

I'd anticipated all week that moment of arriving, fully kitted out, on my friend's doorstep. Because, you know. For me, being authentic Snape is a huge thing . . . especially when it's a breakout event after years of not channeling!

Want a taste of this?

I didn't get to enact some dialog threads I'd planned, since my friend's kids weren't there (alas, we were deprived of the presence of a dementor, and I'd packed a bar of Absolute Black chocolate for nothing?), and HP 7 Part 2 was nearing its end, so people were distracted. Confession time! I hate HP 7 Part 2. I hate how they overdid the pathetic angst and totally blew it in so many ways that could have been great, particularly at the end. The threat of Snape wasn't capitalized on nearly to its fullest --- Dumbledore's murderer is Headmaster, people! Play it up! --- and too much was rewritten to the point of cheesy. And I flatly refuse to watch Snape's end again, because it was a scene of such disturbingly veiled brutality, it still haunts me. Finally, Grint and Watson? Hell, all three of you? Puke. I never liked that shit even as a teenager. So I dicked around until it was over, feasting on food and serving myself the first of numerous servings of swill that night. And being, as much as a person without Rickman's vocal range possibly can, purely authentic Snape. "Wendy's not breaking character for anyone," my friend, posing as Bellatrix, noted, as I resisted my urge to drop that sneer and smile. Damn straight, I wasn't. Wendy was somewhere far, far away.

"YOU, you traitor to the Dark Lord!"

"Ah, but I still have an intact soul!"

"Ingrate! Goody-two-shoes! WIIIIITCH!!"

It's clear Bellatrix and Snape secretly dig each other. Sneering disdain at first sight.

Soon after, Lord of the Rings was playing, which oddly suited me fine. (Though this was technically a Harry Potter versus Lord of the Rings party, and I told my friend, "I am not doing 'versus'!" I've had it up to here with that competition crap. My focus is on being the best Snape, bar none, that I can be.) By then, we'd broken into the chocolate wine, and I was officially in debaucherous, fast-becoming-loaded, Snapeish heaven. I wanted that wine flowing over my tongue forever; I have got to find some and buy it!

Give . . . me . . . more . . . of this potion.

Now.

My friend Nemesis-a-la-Bellatrix and I ended up side-by-side on the sofa, rolling in our seats, cracking snarky comments and posing outrageously for selfie shots. It was all made more fun by the two of us trying to stay in character, what with Snape and Bellatrix's history together: She the fanatic loyalist, who suspects Snape (rightly) of being a slippery, traitorous double agent! And there is no one more slippery than Severus Snape. "Why does your hair look wet?" asked our birthday girlfriend's daughter, when I approached the table for yet another handful of jellybeans of the non-Bertie-Botts variety. "It's not wet," I replied suggestively, "it's greasy." As it was: Thanks to two entire tablespoonfuls of olive oil that night of Friday the 13th, my hair hasn't been so easy to comb in years. It feels silky and smooth and, dare I say it, nearly orgasmic.

Caught in the act! Deprived of decent snooky since the Dark Lord fell, one dirty-minded wizard chemistry teacher oggles a piece of tempting student. Cropped to protect identity. Merlin's pants, but we have a helluva bawdy time.

As the night bounded on, we put on Lord of the Rings' Two Towers and kept at it. Among my many Snapecessories, along with my potions ammo belt and wand and a bottle of ingredients or three, I'd brought my most serious piece of Snape pride and joy, Potus. Our friend the birthday girl had hoped to start an herb shop with her best buddy who'd recently passed away, and she hadn't seen The Tome yet. Now I took her hand, placed it on Potus's velvety brown cover, and wove a blessing spell of words over her while she soaked in the good vibes of nine years' worth of true passion for potions held in those pages. A sort of witches' version of a hand-on-Bible blessing, but so much more personal. I would weave a spell somewhere into that book, I said, that her dream would come to pass, as long as she still wished it (because we can and do change our minds). Because not only do I want my funny, bawdy and beautiful friend to be happy, the world can always use another apothecary! Bring on the herbs, the potions, and the healing. Someday, I told her, I plan to have my own as well. But not yet, while I'm still too mobile. And I want mine to have a tea cafe and, most importantly, a huge awesome lab where I can pass on the craft to the next generation. She broke down and cried, and shared feelings and thoughts and fears, and we talked. But the most important thing I did then was listen --- listen and be there for her. I hadn't known what to get as a birthday gift, so for now I gifted her my time, ears and heart.

Two Towers had ended and midnight loomed before the last of us felt like calling it a night. I felt tired but happy, and thoroughly sated, smug in my harboring of Snape's spirit, and charged by the bitchy, witchy time I'd had with my equally crazy witch friends. This is the stuff life is made of! And look at us all! Who can resist this nutty lot, and the fun we have? And amid all those giddy faces, who's that gimlet-eyed, implacable one sneering from the shadows?

Haters beware: The Bastard's back!

Friday the 13th

Gjh

Healing Sounds and Chocolate

Doyxl

Gem Elixirs II: Blue Moon Essence

Fh

Backlog: Never Too Old ~ A Manly Brew

Here's a backlog recipe from waaaay back: Thanksgiving, to be precise. I hadn't yet revived this blog with a steady stream of new fuel!

I don't have a lot of nearby family, so I usually end up spending it with one or more friends. And, in true Snape-style, giving thanks for basic things like good food, a bed, friends with whom I can commisserate about humanity's state of idiocy, and one more day alive in which to get done what I want to do.

The food was definitely delicious, and we all spent the night. But at our little celebration was a fellow with a lovely British accent named Heath, who had brought work to do. I came into the dining room to find him sitting at one end of the table, which was spread with little plastic pouches of powdered herbs. Furthermore, he had a small digital scale and cup.
A potion!

Heath was quite happy to share the recipe he was blending with me, which he'd compounded for a male client of his. Since one of the ways I learned Potistry was dissecting and analyzing others' recipes, to me this simple knowledge is a small form of gold.
Here I present my lesson from that day!

And no, we're not letting you have any, Albus. But we're conspiring to dope Severus's coffee when he's not looking.


Male Libido, age 75 and over

3 grams Maca
3 grams Nettleleaf
3 grams Dandelion
6-9 grams Guarana
3 grams Horny Goat Weed
3 grams Burdock
3 grams Ashwagandha
3 grams Saw Palmetto
6 grams Ginkgo
3 grams White Panax Ginseng
3 grams Hibiscus
3 grams Blueberry
3 grams Blackberry leaf

Blend powders well.
Macerate or infuse.

Note: I say 6-9 grams of Guarana because Heath himself had planned to put in six, and ended up putting in nine. Guarana is a stimulant, so use as needed, with caution if suffering from high blood pressure.

For a Love of Snakes

"Don't lie to me. You can't honestly say I'm not cute."

With a lot of posts on serious discourse lately, I figured it's good to keep a sense of humour.

Photos of animals captioned with human sentiments are a perennial favourite. Personally, I love the one of a bear flopped on its backside with its insanely long tongue hanging out: bad breath today? The entire Blue Day Book was pretty cute; it made a good gift. Yet I'm also weird. This thing with snakes, for instance.

You'd think it'd be a lot easier to pull humour out of a creature with a more mobile facial expression. But in the right context, even a "cold" (and cold-blooded) animal can seem funny.

"Yyyyeahnevermind, I am so skiving off Quidditch practice. Weather stinks, mate."

"Bluehh . . . I knew I shouldn't've crammed that last helping of trifle."

"So where are you from? Wait, are you a cousin of Nagini? Like, the Nagini? . .!"

So, here's a poke at anything Slytherin, since even when we try to be serious and threatening, we can come across as a joke. Quit twinkling already, Albus.

"B-b-but, what if I'm not in Slytherin. . .?"

"Son . . . we'll love you even if you end up in Hufflepuff. It's only if you get sorted into Gryffindor, you and I are gonna need to have a little talk."

"Stuffing me in a Weasley jumper?! Right, this is the ultimate offense. You are so paying for this one."

"Ngh. Either I just survived McGonagall's theory exam or the Hufflepuffs stampeded past for dinner."

"Rats, I forgot to ask if this Death Eater gig came with a vacation plan. . . ."

Then there are our friends with rattle boxes. Even a lot of ophidiophiles aren't keen on rattlesnakes! They're not the prettiest reptile, being dressed in speckly earth colours to blend in against, well, dirt. They're venomous, above all, and then there's that nasty noise they make. They even look mean, with a built-in frowning brow that helps shield their slit-pupiled, night vision eyes from bright sun.

But when you need to sneak up on dinner, you evolve ways to hide. Then, because you're so well-hidden, you evolve ways to be noticed only when you need to be. Because, like, you're getting trodden underfoot by every darn klutz that crosses your path.

"Yeah, think a Firebolt's everything? Check out this new move."

Slytherin Common Room, after a Quidditch victory or before an exam

"Up yours, Potter."

I noticed that besides a cute little noisemaker, a rattlesnake's tail is banded in startling black and white, like a tiny road warning sign. These low-profile folks thought of everything!

"Well, heck, this thing was working last time I checked . . . I got the deluxe model and everything. . . ."

"But Cissa, dear, I told you if we only let him ---"

"And I told you, Lucius honey, I don't believe a word of it! Now, do you care about our son, or not?"

I respect rattlers as an amazing and fascinating animal, no less than other snakes. But it's also true that where I grew up, I didn't have to worry about stumbling on one. Unlike my southern parents, I never got impregnated with that fear and loathing. I also don't elevate them above other snakes due to the "macho" factor, as it seems so many people do. Yet it is fun to find either beauty or humour in a traditionally repugnant animal!

Mom: "I don't like rattlesnakes."
Me: "I know . . . it's just, anything with its babies is kind of cool."
A pause.
Mom: "I really don't like rattlesnakes."
Shrugging, I close the photo of the mother rattler and kids on my computer.

(For the record, female rattlers do "mother" their young, at least as far as parental care can go in a snake, including protection from enemies; herding stray kids back to the den; and providing warmth, since a big snake stores body heat longer than a little one.)

I did inquire at a local emporium recently if they had rattlesnake rattles for sale. Powerful medicine, that. But nope --- they're protected. There was a bit of irony, what with the python skins and beaver teeth and all the different animal parts and leathers on the shelves, but in truth, I'm glad to hear it. Now, if we can just get those awful rattlesnake roundups banned!

"Y'all clear out! How many times we got to tell yew? No solicitors! And no gas-drillin' landgrabbers, either!"

"I said - not - like -" "Arg, stoppit! Give me that!" "You're doing it wrong, let me --"

"I just love this tune, don't you?"

"Good lord, Alastor, your breath is awful -- when did you last attend this kind of event?"

"Ohmygahhhh the ruddy hell are you --? Gerrout of our common room! SNAPE!! Somebody get Professor Snape!! There's a ruddy Gryffindor got in past our soddin' wall!"

"Well, well, look what we have here."

"Oi, somebody did tell you this en't a place you're s'posed to be, right?"

"Get 'im, mates!"

Then there's this.

"Beg your pardon? What do you mean, not affectionate? I'm totally a people type. If you're family, that is. I take great care of my family; it's just anybody else I eat."

(It's true: Burmese pythons and Anacondas have specific-person and/or owner recognition.)

So I admit it: Snakes aren't for everyone. But nor is Slytherin, either. We're weird that way.