Saint Severus

Saepe creat molles aspera spina rosas
Aequam memento rebus in arduis servare mentem
Quae nocent saepe docent
Sic inquam Severus:
Exaudi sapientia mea

-Litany of St. Severus


A number of minds have already connected the martyred character of Snape with the existence of real saints sharing his name. We can only hope they were not members of Death Eater-like clubs, but the idea of redemption through love is a romantic and persistent one. . .

Poetry Party: word and drama

July 16th was my friend Hide's birthday, and a wonderfully lavish party was held, complete with delicious treats, a variety of drinks, and – a romantic poetry read! Not everyone stepped up to the mark, nor came in dress; there was much recital from bodice-rippers. I, however, wrote a poem for the occasion, inspired by who else but Snape.


Elegance and strawberry shortcake. Yum!

SARCASTIC

The day we met
you were wearing your favorite outfit in the color of my life
I had dropped through a gap in time
into this Otherplace of pain and grief
A stranger in this territory you called Home
whose native language you spoke with terrifying grace
The flavor of your voice as complex, as bittersweet,
as dark as blackstrap molasses and your frock coat even darker
I hated you for your words
loved you for your words
wielded with a swordmaster's sublime skill
the cruel edge of your tongue dripping
in the rich red crimson of its conquest
cutting to the core of our contempt
consonants exquisite
Yet when we the world dissovered that the fire
tempering your edge was born of love's crucible,
we grieved and gave our hearts to you
Now you've up and moved,
to a region where I cannot follow
You always did love your solitude.
But where the spark of a soul resides hidden
and protected, one cannot die –
and the fire in the core of your cold steel
ignited one in mine
Welcome home, dearest Animus!
You and I have lost our taste for happiness and smiles
but if contentment and snarks suit your palette
as they do mine, you are invited to dine at my table
Then let us stroll at night through silent shadow
and silver shrouds of mist,
where secrets yet to be spoken await
in shades of grey satin and black velvet –
whispered silken subtle sarcasms slipping
across my skin like a sabre's caress
Kiss me now, deeply, with lips cool and sweet,
a balm to my soul's agonies
your tongue tasting of my own essence
carven from the depth of my desires
delicious
I will surf the keen edge of your words
until the fathomless folds of your voice envelop me
Drowning in a dark abyss of bliss
Out of my mind
and not minding it
not minding it
ONE
LITTLE
BIT.


George recites his poem, ending with a seductive "Meow!"


An adventure upon a pirate ship by Colleen


Contented (and perhaps slightly drunk) listeners. Birthday gal Hide in the middle with fan. (Topic of recitals did absolutely nothing to alleviate the heat in the room.)

Midnight Premier: say goodbye & go out laughing

I've been to many an event alone. I've spent most of my life alone. When you think about it, there's only one person you can count on with whom to spend time – so if you're not comfortable being alone, you're F*&%#ed. Having said that, this was one event I was happy to spend in the company of friends.

July 14, 2011, 11:59pm.

A thousand people stand in four lines, choking the penthouse-floor lobby of Regal Cinemas. The floor is covered with people sitting, people standing, people doing who-knows-what dressed as You Know Who. . . Some have nothing, others merely a lightning bolt drawn on the forehead; still others are fully decked out. There are Potters, Death Eaters, a Luna with a puffy blond wig, even a pair of identical twin girls with F & G shirts next to me in line. . . I have to literally shout over the din. Next to me, Kat and two other friends swill espresso, getting wilder and wilder, laughing louder and louder. And to be sure, this particular Snape is anything but dour and silent. As usual, my bag is stuffed with goodies – potions, Bertie Bott's beans – and I am way too hot in my Snape attire for comfort but totally don't care.

And I think, when next will I ever see anything quite like this?

How amusing it has been, how curiously enriching, to have gone from immature teen to mature adult during the years spanning the Age of Potter.

The line starts moving, and the butterflies in our stomachs grow. I, who so often shun popular fads, big events, or "the bandwagon", allow myself to be swept into the excitement, feeding on the adrenaline and emotions like a human version of a Dementor, relinguishing judgment. . . knowing if any modern trend has been worthy of appreciation, it is this one, which has opened the imaginations of so many – kid and adult alike.


Drinking in the scenes while sporting homage to The Bravest. Long live the grease! I was so relieved at the way they portrayed Snape's memories and remained fairly true to things, at least there. God, but they can botch things! This was beautiful and deeply moving.



Snapey hugs and kisses amid cinema chaos with Kat. In a situation like this, it's hard to pin "most annoying theatre viewer" labels on anyone, but we came damn close – squealing, shouting, giggling, technology usage, and bellowed mock-orders of "SILENCE!!!" being the order of the night. Soon as the curtain opened, we busted out the potions and snacks and partied like the pair of Slytherins we are!


An evil grimace from a Snape holding nothing back! The "sugar daddy" shirt (didn't have a Hawaiian print one) suggests the angel/devil complex and being free of those restrictive roles, plus, nothing – nothing is sexier than Redemption. (Sorry, James.) If not laughing all the way to sainthood, Severus can at least sigh in relief. At any rate, the angel wings were too much in the way in the cinema, had to leave those off.


Kat plays with a little Muggle magic. "Put your laptop away before we get thrown out," her friend ordered – turned out he didn't actually have a ticket, and was worried. Pth.


Snapes were few and far between, but this specimen was sighted in our cinema. For those not naturally blessed with abundantly greasy black hair, there's always the stringy black mop wig.




We were the last out of the cinema, and howled at the poor projector man when he tried to short the credits early. The credits promptly came back on. After much howling, laughing and gabbing, we tottered out of there about 3:00 am.

And so the odyssey ends. . . but the brewing doesn't. Harry Potter didn't invent potions, cloaks, or anything else in traditional witchdom – it just made it okay for us to come out of the broom closet . . . and keep on coming out. Anyone who has ever played dress-up, who has ever dreamed, who has ever brewed potions in a sink, or who is a true Witch or magic enthusiast. . . we've benefited in so many sundry little ways, even if we're still not taken seriously. That, sadly, will take a lot more time. Stereotypes, and religion, cast a long shadow. And that is why we must dream on, dance on, write on. . . brew on.

The Last Premier - Party like a Potions Master!

HARRY POTTER PREMIER PARTY JULY 14th:
Candy, Potions, Prizes, Wizard drinks, Plastic snakes and plenty of fun!

A display on the potion table – cauldron and numerous witchy ingredients (snakeskins, aconite, brimstone, wormwood, ghost weed, velvet leaf, belladonna, bistort, and a couple of potions). Only the batwings are not real – anyone who would kill bats merely for a display deserves to be cut up and used in a potion!

Let's face it – not all of us have the Galleons (nor the inclination!) to travel from the Pacific Northwest to scorching, muggy Florida to attend an official Harry Potter Convention. So, we here in Portlandmeade did what we could to send the Great Franchise off in style. At the apothecary I call home, we were invited by a small candy company, Chalk-Let (cute) – which is run out of a mini-schoolbus: Knight Bus, move over for these girls! – to have a table there, at which we could sell goods and do live potions demos.

Ewww!!! Name your ingredient – gooey gel, spiders, rats, several species of snakes – Dollar Scholar hosts a freaky table

What could be better, I ask, than being a real live Potions Master and apprentice, getting to help kids make real potions, all while sipping delicious, homemade butterbeer and pumpkin juice and swapping ridiculous anecdotes on a balmy afternoon? Few things, I daresay. . .



Our potion-making table – for a mere five Galleons (oops, dollars!) kid and adult alike can "brew", bottle and take home a potion. Antiquated pewter scoops, my massive potion case, old parchments, a quill, and a jar of Unguens Levitamens complete this scene.



Detail of the parchments, et cetera. Three of them – Libido Dulcis Fervidus, Velvet Blanket Brew, and Venice Treacle, are recipes for real potions; the fourth is a joke parchment, featuring a student's hideously illegible scribble and the scathing red-inked reply of an irate Professor Snape.

Butterbeer Recipe:
Cream soda, then spray or slather some butterscotch-flavor whip cream on top. Mmm, decadent!



A young member of my own House, dressed in her finest, coolly watches her friend's attempt at making a potion. She sips some of that yummy pumpkin juice, and has already made her potion, with the assertion: "I don't care what the herbs do, I just want something cool to put on my shelf!" Slytherin vanity. . . Hufflepuff honesty!

Pumpkin Juice Ingredients:
Apple cider
Pumpkin puree
Ginger
Cinnamon
Cloves
(sorry, didn't get the fractions. A bloke like Sev, and his apprentice, can figure it out – tough luck if you can't!)



My real-life Master, Carmella, instructs a young hopeful on the magic properties of each ingredient – Rose, Lavender, Jasmine flowers, Cinnamon, Mugwort, Mandrake, Frankincense – while Mom watches. We taught our charges how to make three types of potion – for love, vivid dreams, and protection. Pop Quiz: Which combinations do you guess are good for each brew?


The Woman who was Snape uses freaky Legili-powers to divine the reading of a Love-o-meter, an uber-cool, geeky science glass piece sold by the nearby Dollar Scholar fun shop. Around my neck are the very expensive Emerald Phial and a very cheap candy-powder plastic bottle, now filled with a healthy bee pollen snack. I found it's not practical to fully channel Snape (like I do in pictures), even in a Harry Potter setting, beyond making teases like, "And I'm not even grading them!" Why? Let's face it, folks. These are kids, and Snape is – no question – not a fun guy to be around.

Potterheads check out some local merchandise. Pah! Golden-Trio emulators! nice scarf



The interior of Chalk-Let Candy Company's candy bus! Second only to Honeydukes, with enough variety of goodies to satisfy even Dumbledore's tastes, the Bus features bulk lemon drops, runts, mints, wax sugar-drink bottles, gumdrops, crunchy clusters, lollipops, jelly beans (yes, they have boxes of Bertie Bott's Every Flavor Beans, and I ran into one hell of an icky taste twice!), and Snape shudders to think what else. If you're ever in Portland, give 'em a visit – any candy-filled school bus with a chalkboard inside reading, "You are special" is a great place.


Afterward, at 9:00 pm, we all packed up like maniacs, I stuck 40-odd lbs. on my back and raced home on the wheeled broomstick to prepare for the Last Premier – as (what else) all-inhibitions-barred Snape!

Ladies and gentlemen, make way for The Saint – or else.

Closed for the Summer

The Guardian at the Gate

The doors of Hogwarts are closed for the summer, but muted activity continues within its walls: Mice stir in the corners, ghosts prowl the corridors, and a Potions Master makes frequent trips to the dungeon's ample laboratory. The brewing goes on.

Instead of "lumos", a tiny bottle on a chain full of a light-up potion serves to provide enough glow for a Snape to prowl by.

I do love this picture! It definitely reveals the "inner warlock" within the witch, the masculine side of me, which quite often manifests as this do-not-mess-with, Snapeshifted form. Fun to walk the streets and freak Muggles out.

Harry & the Potters! - Jun 21 (Solstice)

Founder of Harry & the Potters with the-Woman-who-was-Snape – rep the colors and rock on!!!

All right, confession time – I'd never been to a wizard rock concert until this June 21st, when I heard that Harry & the Potters, the first wizard rock band formed back in 2002, were coming to town!


Harry & the Potters ride the lightning!

The first I knew of it was I saw a few forelorn, loose pages of a local newspaper in the gutter on the way home. Except, one half of the page was headlined: "The Weekly Prophet". If you're like me, that last word is a neon signal, so I snatched the paper up and carted it home.




Potterheads of all ages get wild regardless of each others' eardrums.

Turned out there was a paper misprint. I rode miles north, only to find the free library concert was the previous day! However, I decided to skip the annual Solstice ritual and go to the one downtown, which I Slytherined my way into and was quite glad I did, because I met one of my friends and had much fun.












Wacky Potterhead merchandise

There were colors from all houses, but of course it was great fun to show off my incomparably Slytherin, handmade duds (not to mention the Emerald Phial necklace and snake-everything). I chatted a bit with a high school boy who was humoring his younger female cousin with "this wizard rock stuff" – he had a Slytherin tie on, and we mutually shouted, "Way to rep the colors!!"




I'm monitoring Galleons carefully lately, but I did buy a pin for a buck. Simple and direct in its message, it proclaims Potter enthusiasm and love of the magical, in the iconic words of young Severus Snape himself:

"It's real for us."

Interlude in the Park

When all I had to worry about were essays
When no one bothered me in my office
When the Dark Mark lay dormant
When the greatest pains were potion burns
Before the youngest Potter came to Hogwarts

When all I had to worry about were essays
it was a walk in the park





After tedious hours of interaction, after Slytherining my way around the horribly inefficient system that Muggles term "voice mail" in order to speak with a real person, I once again have Internet in my office again, and can post back-pictures of my agonies these past few months. Not that anyone finds them exciting.

Spring in Washington Park, and a stray Snape out for a stroll. A fragrant young tree courts an old hooked nose.

I couldn't help but notice the crows making an unusual racket, probably roused somehow by this vastly larger version of their own black-sheathed forms!

Undercover

Busy Severus!

Far too busy to do much except grade essays – no Easter holidays for burnt-out Potions masters! A bit of brewing here and there.

Also, I haven't oft written lately because I currently have limited access to this delightful Muggle invention of the internet. Some truly awful pictures have leaked into the Daily Prophet underground which I am trying to track down before they hit the web – apparently, some wizards have nothing better to do than look at pictures of me in conjunction with such hideous occasions as Valentine's Day and Easter... Merlin spare my ego and reputation...

The park is lovely this time of year. Trees are coming into bloom, plants growing for potion ingredients. Yet it is still wet enough, and there are still enough shadows, and still a distinct lack of tourists and children, to cater to my refined tastes... Not to mention the odd mis-occurrence to keep my spying skills sharp...










Meantime, I've been suffering through student woes, crashing a Gryffindor cram-fest AND a vampires' masquerade ball on back-to-back nights (leading to sporadic correspondence with the leader of Greece's vampiric sorcerer community; apparently they're having problems with a Voldemort-like chap over there as well – more on that later), and keeping pace with Albus' stepped-up efforts – where will it all end?!?!

The essays are beginning to look pretty good...

How to Hide your potions from Gryffindors

I actually caught that little beast Wormtail trying to tamper with my potions samples once when I was looking the other direction (Slytherin tip: never look the other direction for any longer than you have to)! I've also caught him looking over my shoulder, trying to figure out how I was modifying my brews. Those prats never quit.

Fortunately, I managed to transfigure an old, discarded tome into a portable kit – both for basic brewing needs, and (most importantly) to store finished samples. Now let's see them try to filch my phials out of my bag – they're out of sight, disguised by a harmless-looking book!

This is, in fact, my own handmade, functional Potions kit. (However, it took a lot longer to make than using mere transfiguration!) Wooden, leather-bound, reinforced, it can withstand plenty of active use. It opens to reveal not one, but two layers of small compartments full of tiny phials. I am now offering several for sale via eBay, but this original is the best – and to carry it is, I'm sorry, such a pimpin' status symbol for serious Snape-o-philes like me. Not to mention great for taking on the road... from Nausea Drops to Instant Bliss, Libido Fervidus to Mortis Rapidum, it's a medical and magical kit in a book.

If a Snape sees his shadow... Feb. 2nd

What they used to call Imbolc (those of us who know the Old Ways still do), people now call Groundhog Day. Ridiculous. So if I, Severus, rather than a groundhog, see my shadow on Feb. 2nd, will there be six more weeks of winter? In the world of Snape, it is always winter. And I... I am the shadow.

Salazar Slytherin walked here.

Upward of a thousand years ago, the home of one of Hogwarts' founders stood here, in the middle of this quiet fen – an idyllic location for a wizard who enjoyed his solitude and the company of Nature's secrets. I stand amidst this peaceful, stark landscape, and there is the perfect balance of sound: enough silence to hear the serpents that once spoke to their Master (though not to hear their language), mixed with occasional birdsong.



Artists would describe it as having "a limited palette". Others would find it outright bleak, even creepy. Plenty of today's dunder-headed youth would call it "dull as sh*t", mainly if they had no cannabis or Firewhisky to share away from adult eyes.

Slytherin Fen is not everyone's idea of a nice place. In winter, especially, the land is asleep, and the colors of the landscape are subdued. Along the banks, suckholes and grass-covered wash-tunnels wait to trap the unwary legs of folks less observant than a keen-eyed Potions Master. But I find it a place of deep serenity, of most precious, welcome peace.

I blend in with the scenery, like merely another broken snag, a black stump, a shadow amid the many shadows of this place, laden as it is already with tree trunks and logs. And when I stand still, not only my body but my spirit merges with the stoic, quiet spirit of the Fen.



Here I can stretch myself upon the bank in the sun, with no students to bother me, no Albus to Floo me with the overly friendly news of a staff meeting, and most of all, no Boy-Who-Lived to vex me. In that rare window of blessed isolation, only the Dark Mark remains as that which can yank me ruthlessly back to my caged life, and it is tied to that part of my brain that is ever, without fail, on alert and dreads the need to take action. But the rest of me, for the most part, is at last able to take its ease.


Even in winter, the Fen yields its secrets to those who seek. Rare potions ingredients lurk beneath the bowing grass, cling to logs, hang on trees, and are usually within reach of a Summoning spell or long fingers: lichens, feathers, wild herbs, frogs, toads, snakes, swamp leeches, mud nippers... The sundry bits find a place in any of several hidden pockets within the folds of black.

This place may appear dead to some, but it is pulsing with life. Even in a moment of silence, the air hums with its presence. At other times, tiny creatures flit past me on their various missions, and the grass rustles briefly. Across a broad waterway, a committee of Red Wing Blackbirds converse brightly – almost too brightly for my tastes – and announce their insistent, metric measurements:

"One-millili-i-i-i-iter!"
"Thirty-one-li-i-i-i-iters!!"

At last, the sun begins to set over Slytherin Fen, tinting the sky with a delicious brew of lemon and peach and melon and cream, soft blue and grey, and finally a rich range of pinks. I take my leave, refreshed – if only somewhat – in body and soul, content... and glad, once again, that I have come.

If today there shall be six more weeks of winter because a Snape saw his shadow in the Fen, then so be it. This day has been worth it.


Happy Imbolc!
Imbolc (or Oimelc, later Candlemas) is one of the original Witches' sabbats in Europe and, especially, the Celtic lands. Its patron Goddess is Brighid, or Bride, later called St. Brigid by some. It is a holiday for celebrating the first returning of the Sun, the new life of spring, as embodied by the light of candles, and the symbology of Brigid as the bringer of flame. At this time of year, the land in the British Isles, especially farther north, is still pretty dead. In ancient times, stored food was running real low by now, and your family would be feeling the strain. Spring was greatly welcomed and anticipated. In the Pacific Northwest, the first, merest stirrings of life can be seen right now – trees with sticky, resinous buds, early blades of grass, velvety pussy willows, and those sweet cherry blossoms.

So what is a "fen"?!?! It's a wetland, a swamp, fed by running streams more than rain (a bog is fed mainly by rain). In the Harry Potter series, sneaky, snake-loving Salazar Slytherin is stated (via the Hat!) as having lived in a fen. In these pictures, "Slytherin Fen" is actually Oaks Bottom Wildlife Refuge, which does rise and fall a bit with the rain, but also has live, slow streams running through it. This summer I had a truly magical experience there, in which a small snake came up to my feet and curled about them briefly before making her way off into the grasses again. And aside from the well-used jogging trail populated by cell-phone wielding dunderheads, yes, it is a place of serenity (all the more reason to nip off to one side, out of sight, and poke around for potions ingredients). Hundreds of birds, muskrats, and plenty of other critters call this home. I try to venture out to this spot on a regular basis... however, I respect its status as a refuge and, in fact, do not kill or take away any critters for potions. I get 'em elsewhere instead.

Bachelor Birthday: my old friend Lucius

"SHUT UP, MALFOY."

I find myself imitating the "Boy Who Lived
To Irritate" on certain occasions as these, spouting the line so often heard during double Gryffindor and Slytherin Potions. But despite suffering the occasional grating comment, what would any ex-Death Eater scum's bachelor party be without my old comrade Lucius. And he thinks I'm a sick bastard.

It's my party and I'll drink (and not bother to shave) if I want to.

Busy lately! Too much going on at the apothecary to have done much posting this month. But I couldn't resist a few photos of Luscious Luc acting stupid at Sev's little b-day revel. Plus one of my favorite fan-art pics from our boys back when – CRAZY DIRTY SCUM DEATH EATER-YOUTH PUNKS!!!

The wine is a real item – a medicinal snake tonic from Vietnam, owned by my friend. The wine actually went down real smooth. The snake, not so much. Then again, I'm used to slimy pickled things. Mmmmm.

Winter Creatures: Happy B-Day Sev! Jan. 9

For once, a surprise present for me – one thoughtful and very brave Slytherin has ventured to try and win my good graces with a birthday gift. He must have asked Dumbledore for the date... Or is, by chance, the boy merely thinking of me? I hold no such illusions. However, it is a worthy attempt – a kit of random yet labeled, rare ingredients from South Africa, one of the most diverse plant communities in the world. And a book with a note: "I hope you find this more entertaining than our pathetic essays next term". Well, well, one of them is actually somewhat perceptive. Attempt accepted.

Late posting! Severus Snape's Jan. 9th birthday was spent in a happy way for me, as I was on vacation with my dad. I celebrated the birthday of this wintry man with a winter celebration! We had lovely clear, frosty, in my opinion perfect winter weather, great for a long walk in a cloak. I aptly passed time with friends in their very large, and dormant, labyrinth herb garden. Few potions ingredients were to be found among the sleeping plants, but it was beautifully peaceful.

Then home for a steaming mug of herbal potion and lava cake. (Okay, so one's good for the body, the other mostly good for the soul!) I didn't get to hang out with any other fans, but hey – then again, Severus isn't too social a fellow, and my relationship with him is personal anyway!

Above, top: Me in the herb garden, liking the stiff, chilly wind.
Above, bottom: Formal winter portrait of me as Snape.

Below, top: Beautiful, austere - winter on Lopez Island, near home.
Below, bottom: A cloaked apprentice searches for rosehips, one of the few fresh ingredients to be had this time of year. In fact, they're best this time of year, after the first frost has increased their medicinal properties!