Trout Lake Solstice

Today I had a chance to visit Trout Lake, a spiritual center where various Neopagan and other gatherings are held. My friend was planning to attend an ADF Druid Summer Solstice rite there.

The only hitch was that some driving was necessary, which gets up my nerves despite my recent smooth Vernonia trip. But Betty the car ran well (yes Betty, I know you need some oil after that long trip!), I got a pasta potluck dish made in time, and we set out in his car for Trout Lake, 73 miles east.

Out near the sublime Earth-presence of Mt. Adams, the nearest high point of that area, we found the Trout Lake "Abbey", a combined Druid meeting house with a stone circle and a Buddhist sanctuary with prayer garden. It's the brainchild of a former couple, Druid and Buddhist, who, though no longer romantic, still live there and run the land together. The place is peaceful and beautiful, with a lovely view of the mountain, and has lots of space to foster spiritual growth and reflection. We arrived early for the sole purpose of being able to have a look around.

First we went inside the Buddhist temple, where seating was half each chairs and firm little round pillows on the floor. Buddhist statuary, offerings, portraits of deities and masters, and mural work spread its beauty around the walls; the smell of incense bordered on the overpowering, but the sense of space dedicated to the sacred work was exquisite.
Then we went out to the shrine and meditation garden. Great bells and prayer wheels greeted us before the wooden gate. There are hundreds of small shrines, with almost every material manifestation of the Buddha one could hope to find to meditate upon. Carefully avoiding a praying person, we didn't peruse the whole thing.

Map of Trout Lake facilities

Then we moseyed over to the Druid portion. Here, we found shrines with explanations and mythologies of some of the Celtic and/or Druidic deities, including the Daghda, Morrigan, Cerunnos, and the local deva of the land, the River Columbia, done in wonderful clay, stone and mosaic.

ADF Druids recognize three groups of sacred divinities, the Ancestors, Nature Spirits, and Gods and Goddesses, which are communed with via three gateways or portals, namely the well, the tree, and the fire, respectively. This system is one I can identify and work with, in that I, too, respect these groups.

But as I perused the shrines, I felt entirely at home with neither the abnegating Buddhist way with its symbols from a culture so far away from mine, nor the Druid deities depicted, who came from a time so long before my own despite some of my own people being from there, and their myths and imagery that so often seemed to feature themes of war.
I knew that, as always, my path must be my own, my deities must be my own, and I would never feel fully comfortable "borrowing" religion or avatars from anyone. Deities like the Morrigan, Hekate or Columbia, I can attempt to embrace to some degree, and Earth Herself is of course universal for humans (or should be), but my odd feeling highlights the importance of personal figures like Avo Rayo, Issa and Aliria for me: So, you don't relate to lightning in the form of a hulking dude with a hammer, but a wisecracking crone mama instead? Then work with her.
It also helped me realize just how, in fact, goddess-oriented my practice is. I don't actually work with a lot of gods! Issa is a god/animus, Snape is an animus, but I don't work with many traditional Neopagan gods at all. And lately my spirit realm has been invaded and reinvigorated by goddesses, from my half-baked attempts to connect with Hekate, to Medusa, Kirke, and the Minoan deity, to the flaming powerhouse that is Aliria-Nafta, and Gaia our Mother; lately there's talk among my women friends of Lilith and Jezebel. Such invigoration of spirit I have rarely felt, actually, since working with Avo Rayo or "Grandmother Lightning" in 2004. Someday, I'd love to have temple shrine space for each of these divinities, where I too can meditate.

There was a special boardwalk path for the Nature Spirits, to which you pass through a belled curtain. Sweet chirping and bell-like tones drifted among the naturally-talkative aspen trees and grasses.

SunFest! ~ Solstice at Ffynnon

Snape marches for Pride!

Pride Week is always a huge going-on in Portland, where, despite Oregon's racist past, an attempt is made at least in the city to embrace all genders, sexualities and colors, even more so in recent years. I'm someone who enjoys expressing multiple parts of my beings, some of which, like Snape, are more masculine on the spectrum.
But more importantly, I have friends who are gay, of color, and trans, and am currently living with a trans person who knew they were trans since age four. We as humans are all unique and precious and of equal worth; only fear limits us. In a time of our most regressive presidency, when fear and hate are being actively encouraged from the top, I feel it's more important than ever for us to create from the bottom a solidarity that cannot be undermined.

This year, I had at least four groups of friends and activists I could choose to march with, most of whom I'd marched with before. I hadn't yet done anything with the Harry Potter Alliance, Portland chapter, a local nonprofit, so I decided to dust off the frock coat (still sweaty from Brass Screw!) and step out as Severus with the Alliance. Snape has actually been asked to step back in recent weeks, even as lover-animus, which is huge --- that's how powerful Aliria is. But I will always love Snape, and I do make a fine specimen of him. Once I made the decision, I realized I had two weeks' worth of vacation grease in my hair, and held off on washing it!

After roaming the milling riots of people, colors, vehicles, animals and just plain stuff in rainbow hues, I finally located the small HPA contingent. Only a few folks, but they were a merry lot. They had some snacks --- pineapple chunks, bagels, Martinelli's drink --- and some great signs. Harry Potter, after all, despite its patriarchal old-school (literally!) flavors was heavily concerned with justice, resistance, challenging the system, and equality.

Explicitly gay Dumbledore Bart waited till just before marching to don his robes, and in the heat, I couldn't blame him. Being near the end of the line, we had awhile to wait, too. I kept on my frock, but waited to put on the parade-layer --- a colored scarf, disco-holographic silver strip, and a perfectly shaped fragment of My Little Pony cloth I'd scored at Scrap. Because if there is any day of the year, or any event, for which Snape will be caught dead in so many colors, let alone My Little Pony anything... it is Pride.

Bart's energy and enthusiasm made him perfect to both play Dumbledore and relate to kids. "Where's Snape?!" one of these two little girls asked, as soon as she realized she was amidst a Potter contingent, and was directed to me, fortunately our little group's only Snape (you gotta have at least one). The fact she actually demanded the presence of Snape totally tickled me: He may be an asshole, but he's a hero, and a kind of magnetic, sexy one too.

Too much fab! Though my hair's length is fast outpacing Severus's. Thank Merlin it wasn't as hot as it was last year, with all those layers.

In addition to Bart, we had Holly, Brandy, Bas and a few others. A game quickly evolved, using HP trivia cards, sidewalk chalk, and a bottle cap, later a color dice. The trick was to roll onto an empty square, answer a trivia question right, and claim the square; person with the most squares at the end wins. The hopscotch-like board was cheerfully in rainbow chalk. We soon found the main crux wasn't answering the questions, but getting the darn bottle cap (round two, the dice) to land and stay where you wanted it --- both cap and dice had bouncy, rolly, bewitched attitudes, and all of us lost quite a few turns by landing in claimed squares!
Now, let me assert: I'm not a big game head, trivia head, gambler, or even comeraderic-competition kind of person. I don't take risks often; I feel no need to show off by beating others; I rarely pose, boast, flaunt, as do certain people I can't stand: When I do compete it's almost always to better my own skills or standards, regardless of others. This, despite my being into Potter since 1996, was the first time I'd done a public Potter trivia game of any kind. I thought, what the heck, it's all in fun, and I didn't want to be a stick-in-the-mud by opting out. I won. Both rounds. I guess that's the type both Snape and I are: We won't make a bunch of noise and swagger like Gryffindors, we'll just quietly and methodically do what we do well and shut the joint down! "Reigning champion Snape!" Bart kept shouting, rallying us all in wincingly Gryffindor fashion, until I finally played in, stopped and glared at him, sneering. "Oh, I got glared at," he said. "That was sexy!"

Finally the parade commenced at our end! One guy struggled into his dementor outfit, complete with Pride rainbow flag in one skeletal hand. We were strung out a bit until finally our last members caught up. What a riot of people cheering and flag-waving! Harry Potter is, of course, popular and internationally known, resulting in some loud cheers, even if our group was little. Bart-Dumbledore walked up front, fearlessly engaging one and all, while Snape walked somewhere in the middle with a rainbow-colored staff, silently smug and waving a large trans flag --- the staff, streamers and trans flag I'd finished sewing by hand the night before! The staff served a hidden double purpose: Martial art style defense against potential hostiles.

Tom McCall Waterfront Park was a zoo, and we hung out in the shade of the trees for a bit as the parade continued cycling through.

At the parade and subsequent festival, anything rainbows and unicorns goes, including this infant's adorable chariot.

A few more scenes from the pre-march wait. This fellow had a great start on a float that clearly made a point about walls. I think our current political climate has built enough of those lately, if only in metaphor. . . .

Finally, Lightning McQueen from the Cars movie franchise put in a real-world appearance. Such a cute car. "What's he doing here?" someone asked me, with a quirky face. "I don't know," I said, "but even though he drinks gasoline, if he's an ally I guess he's welcome here!"

Rainbows and My Little Pony combined with the famously dour face of Severus makes an amusing but clear statement, no sign-waving needed.

After the event, I hung out with HPA organizer Bas and two other folks at a Mediterranean restaurant for some delicious Lebanese food, puffy gyros-type wraps filled with baba ganoush, kafta beef, falafel and taziki, plus a tamarind soda-water. It was all delicious. I felt a bit bad because they brought me the wrong sandwich and I bit it before the mistake was realized (I was so hungry, and assumed all was well), so I effectively got a free sandwich because I'd ruined it. They were busy; the place was family-run, even tiny kids in the kitchen, and today on Pride Sunday, two kids were at graduation!

A beautiful mural at the restaurant, with a plaster bump-out design. Below, the drink menu, which I found completely charming in its descriptions.

 "That lipstick shape," Bas told me, "makes your mouth look scary even when you smile." Well, that's my Snape face! Halfway through eating, I scrubbed it off. Then I went home, and took both clothes and a load off. But not for long: This evening was also my friend Justine's party for her partner's BFA graduation!
 So I changed into something casual, grabbed a few show-and-tell things, and walked over for an evening of good food, bonfire, stories, brews (wine and anise liqueur, whoo!), a clove smoke, and some serious improv-grind disco dancing with an equally drunk Justine to make up for the disco dancing I'd missed by missing Kathleen's 50th. Viva la Diosa!

~ ☆ ~

Update: June 28, 2019

It's hard to know what's truth on the Internet these days. Screenshots are sometimes the best proof we have, and everything is subject to hearsay. But one thing, we must face: Even a person who has done great things, or passed on a particular positive message, is never perfect. We know from how she writes and thinks that JK Rowling, who channeled Snape and his archetypes so well, is well-versed in literally "old school"(!) ways of thinking. Still, it's hard to see a thread like this:

https://medium.com/@Phaylen/jk-rowling-confirms-stance-against-transgender-women-9bd83f7ca623

Now, I've mentioned before that the franchise, and its author herself, lost my unwavering faith some time ago. I've had fun with Potterworld, and it did wonders for getting kids to read and inspiring folks of all ages to consider human --- and creature --- rights. But is it perfect? No. It is as flawed as Severus Snape himself. We can learn from and let it inspire us, but we should no more use it as a model of ideal behavior or world interactions any more than the Bible. From my first youthful readings of HP, I was a little startled by how fucking mean they are to each other, actually, and later, how unfairly their system is weighted (yes, including toward the "good guys"!). Snape aside, JKR is not my saint --- just a very rich, mostly well-meaning, but flawed and at times ickily self-righteous person. I'm sure at times, I am no better. But this is a reminder to take all of our idols with a grain of magical salt when it comes to their true message and beliefs.

As with the old alchemical saying, "Know Thyself," to that I will add the mantra "Think for Thyself." Question everyhing, even if --- perhaps especially if --- it looks cute and exciting and sparkles. (Again, thank you Mom, Dad, and Snape.) We must continue to spread the HP core message of human rights to ALL . . . no matter where the author herself might have fallen off the Gringotts tracks.