Class in Session: First Try at a Flower Essence

A friend of mine, a fiery and stalwart black crone-grandmother named Connie, allows me space in her backyard for a garden. Now, gardening is great, but it requires commitment, which for me includes making time out of my schedule of work and art and writing and the rest to commute over there. So, every year my garden gets weedy. Among the most persistent "weeds", which as we know are usually powerful healing plants, is a cousin of Borage with painfully prickly leaves and a profusion of blue flowers --- Bugloss.

Bugloss is actually a family of plants, of which this plant is a member. I just made this year's odyssey of hacking down the jungle of weeds back there, and unfortunately that included much of the Bugloss, which the bees like. But I know the Bugloss will be more or less unfazed. My efforts are just a temporary setback. Soon, new leaves will sprout from a phalanx of two-foot-long taproots, and I'll be at it again.

Despite its prolific, even annoying abundance, this year I couldn't bear to let waste all the beautiful little blue flowers, from which the bees were still drinking as they lay on the pile. I had to use them for something, to "honor" them in some way. Bugloss has mucilaginous properties, like Borage, but what other powers did it have? What could I do with Bugloss? What could I learn from Bugloss?

I could brew the whole prickly lot, or even just the flowers, into a tea. But I decided to have a go at a more subtle type of preparation, which I've known about for years, but haven't found the time or space to make, nor the money to buy: Flower Essences.

Flower Essences are, in fact, probably one of the most subtle types of "potions" or medicines you can make at home. I'm a pretty grounded person (double Taurus?!), so for me getting into more elevated or "woo woo" states of mind or energy can seem like a challenge. And yet I've noticed the past few years how responsive I am to energy, in that I especially dislike negative emotions and energy fields from other humans. I was also proven yet again, just a few days ago, that I'm psychic: Out of the blue one morning, I lay in bed meditating on a couple of large ballrooms in Portland as well as the masquerade I just attended, only to find shortly after that the event and its cousin have been moved to both those locations. In short, I'm no less a candidate for exploring the subtle, emotional power of this form of "Potistry" than anyone else!


On the origin and principles of Flower Essences, one source writes:

"Dr. Edward Bach was a homeopath who believed that the cause of disease was emotional; a conflict between soul and mind that needed spiritual and mental effort to eradicate. He speaks in his work, ”Heal Thyself,” about his belief in the existence of the soul, and how the root of disease and unhappiness is often linked with conflict from either the material world or other people, leading one away from the soul’s real path. The second major theme that Dr. Bach relates to health is that of unity and interrelatedness. He outlined some of the human defects he believed to be adverse to unity such as pride, cruelty, hate, self-love, ignorance and greed; stating that illness sets in if one continues in these defects after knowing they are wrong."

The importance of emotional states to our health, and the need to address them in medicine, is the key area of Flower Essence practice. DIY Natural (found at https://www.diynatural.com/how-to-make-flower-essences/) explains:

"Spring is for flowers, so spring is the prime time to make flower essences. After a long, dark winter it is easy to see how the vibrational energy of flowers can adjust our emotional well being. Flower essences have been used for centuries to help us make a shift in our soul or emotional self. I often explain that flower essences don’t necessarily help to knit your broken bone from a fall, they go to the emotional aspect of your personality that causes you to walk off balance or hunched over because of an injury to your self esteem.

It’s not so simple though, to say that they are only emotional or soul healing. As we grow to understand the body in which we live, it becomes all too clear that there is a strong correlation between our soul, mind and emotions and the illnesses or accidents with which we struggle.

The best thing about this type of botanical medicine is that it is incredibly gentle. Flower essences can be used by absolutely anyone regardless of age, overall constitution, current disease burden or medications."

NAHA, found at (https://naha.org/naha-blog/making-and-using-flower-essences), goes on to elucidate how the emotional causes of disease precede the physical symptoms, but a person usually only seeks help once physical problems show up:

"Once a client comes to an herbalist for a physical disorder, I believe that it is beneficial to try and work on several levels of healing: the removal of physical symptoms in order to relieve the client of pain and discomfort, the lifestyle changes necessary to avoid the problem repeating itself, and the emotional and mental issues that may be underlying the illness. Generally, I have found that the more a plant preparation is concentrated, the more likely it is to work on a deeply physical level; and the more a preparation is diluted, the more likely it is to shift things on a more subtle level. This does not mean that concentrated plant medicines do not have an effect on emotions, or vice versa. For example; if I want to zap an infectious bacteria, I am more likely to use an essential oil with high phenol content over a flower essence. If I am looking for direction in line with one’s higher self, flower essences would be my choice."

State of mind and approach in the "potist", maker or or healer, says NAHA, is also important, as in the case of a student who wanted to work with extremely toxic plants:

"Although the flower essences would not do any harm physically, energetically he was definitely not ready to work with this type of plant, which could have dangerous emotional implications if used without care, experience, and respect. Although flower essences do not demand any particular skill in order to make them, one definitely needs to be ready for this type of medicine making. An understanding and awareness of an intuitive nature is necessary."

At home, I spent at least an hour picking the blue flowers off their prickly stems with scissors, then carefully placing them on the surface of a pan of water, until the water was covered. By then it was after 8 p.m, and I set the pan in the window on a stool to catch the light of the full moon all night. When morning came, I placed the pan in the sunlight for a little while, then lifted out the flowers with filter paper and spoon. By now the flowers had been setting atop the water for over 12 hours, far longer than a standard flower essence, and the water had the most exquisite, very faintly golden colour. I strained the water through a coffee filter to remove the Bugloss prickles and, some time later, poured it into a brown bottle and added its volume in the traditional alcohol: brandy. This, then, is my "mother essence".

I had not read any instructions prior to making my Bugloss essence; I had only my memory of research, so this first attempt was all instinct, logic and recall. It can be instructive to try something yourself first, then find "official" instructions to see where you deviate --- if it's safe, of course. If you're doing alchemy with heavy metals or mixing dynamite, do follow a trusted method!

As it was, I realized I produced a type of hybrid Full Moon water and Flower Essence, because I used the moon's light to potentize the water, plus only an hour or so of sunlight rather than the full three sunlit hours. (I guess this would be called "lunarization", instead of "solarization".) I also put the pan in the sun after noon --- one source emphasizes making a flower essence between 9 a.m. and noon, because the sun's light shifts from energizing to draining in the afternoon hours. Supposedly.

Bugloss flowers in water about to undergo "lunarization"

My method deviated from proper methods in several other ways, besides utilizing moonlight rather than sunlight.
• I used tap water. Horrors! Tap water is known to have all kinds of crud in it. But it was the best I had in a pinch, and I also know our kitchen's cold tap has an extra filter under it, so I placed my faith in this filter.
• My pan and tools were not sterilized, nor reserved exclusively for Flower Essence use.
• Though as little as possible, I did touch the flowers with my fingers, and also touched the water. Thus, the essence has my signature energy on it. I wouldn't want to give it to anyone else in a medicinal capacity.
• My gathering frame of mind was not ideal. Instead of meditating or asking permission, these plants were cut down and merely "not wasted". Far from a pure neutral essence, this medicine is a relationship between the Bugloss and myself.


Here, DIY Naturals gives a set of "proper" instructions:

   "Making your own essence is very simple using the following process. Start on a bright sunny day and select a location in full sun. Choose a flower that you are drawn to or have read about and know its qualities. Sit quietly with the flower, meditate, draw or write. Fill a glass or crystal bowl with fresh, living water. Do not use distilled water or water that is chlorinated or otherwise contaminated. Cover the surface of the water with flowers, removing them at the stem and being careful not to touch the flower itself with your fingers. Leave the bowl to sit in the sun for at least three hours. Do not cover the bowl. If you are concerned about outdoor animals, set it up where it is not easily accessible or simply stay with it. At the end of its time in the sun your water will be imprinted with the energetics and dynamics of your flower. You have created a“mother essence.” You may now sip the mother essence alone or with friends, which I highly recommend, or you may preserve the mother essence for future use.

   To preserve your Flower Essence, you'll need these ingredients and supplies:
• 2-3 1oz. amber glass dropper bottles
• brandy
• fresh spring water
• mother essence you have created from above instructions.

Directions:
   To preserve this essence you will need a 1 ounce amber glass dropper bottle filled half with brandy and half with fresh, spring water. To this combination you will add 2 drops of the mother essence you have created in the bowl. From this preserved bottle you will make your usable forms of flower essence. This is essentially the “mother” of all the other bottles.
   Next you will want to create a “stock bottle” which is the form most often purchased in the store. To create a stock bottle you will need a 1 ounce amber glass dropper bottle filled with brandy. To this you will add 2 drops of the “mother” from Step 1. You may now use your flower essence as you wish, or you may choose to create a “dosage bottle.”
   To create a dosage bottle you will need a 1 ounce amber glass dropper bottle filled nearly full with spring water and just about a teaspoon of brandy. To this you may add one or a combination of several preserved flower essences, up to five or six different flowers. Each selection should add 2-4 drops to your completed dosage bottle.

To Use:
   Whether you choose to take your flower essence directly from the stock bottle or make a dosage bottle, the amount you use will be the same. Per tradition, you place four drops under the tongue or in a small glass of water, four times per day.

'Why is the Essence Diluted So Much?'
   Flower Essences are a healing modality where “less is more.” The more dilute the physical components of these preparations become, the more the soul is revealed."

Bugloss flowers next morning

NAHA gives a similar set of instructions:

"You will need:

• A small glass bowl, which should be used uniquely for essence making.
• Fresh spring, or mountain stream, water collected in a glass container if possible. It is great if you can get fresh, wild water that comes from near to where the flowers you are using grow. This is not always possible. So either collect spring water from somewhere else, or if all else fails, buy spring water in a bottle. I do not advise using tap water, as it will be full of fluoride etc.
• A funnel (a glass one if possibleA dark glass bottle (125ml is a good size).
• Organic grain alcohol (at least 40%, such as vodka).

Before picking the flowers, use your intuition to feel whether or not you have their permission.
Flower essences are made on sunny days, as the sun’s rays shining through the flowers, help transmit the message to the water. This is known as solarization.

Directions:

1. Fill the bowl with spring water and put it in the sun, preferably among the flowers the essence is being made from.

It is the vibrational imprint of the flowers that is going to be memorized by the water, not the vibrational imprint of the essence maker. In order to put the least possible of one’s own energy into the essence, consciously distance yourself from the action. By this, I mean, when collecting the flowers imagine you are just an instrument, try and remain neutral.

2. Gently drop the flowers onto the surface of the water. This is not an infusion so they do not need to be immersed. Cover the surface of the water with flowers.

3. Leave in the sun for at least two hours where there is no risk of shadows falling on the bowl.

4. Come back to the bowl, and with the help of a couple of twigs or leaves, (so not to touch the water) remove the flowers from the bowl.

5. Using the glass funnel, pour the water into the glass bottle until it is half full. Fill the bottle to the top with the alcohol.

This is the “mother essence” or “mother tincture,’’ and it is from this bottle that the drops will be taken to make the “stock bottle.”

Once back inside, take seven drops from the mother tincture and put them into a bottle (20 ml. bottle).  Fill the bottle with alcohol. This is the stock bottle. It is from this bottle that the medicine is made. Put two to seven drops into a small dropper bottle and fill with alcohol. Label the bottle.  The essence is now ready for the client.

Dosages.

I tend to advise clients to take a couple of drops in water, or directly under the tongue, when they think about it, preferably as far away from meals as possible.

Many people carry the small dropper bottle with them at first and take the essences regularly. When they start to forget, it is usually because the essence has done its job, and there is less need for it. However, as their action is subtle, I do try and encourage clients to take essences for at least twenty-one days, and depending on the issues being dealt with, for up to three months.

It is possible to blend essences, and each practitioner has his/her own techniques. I tend to go for one essence at a time, and would advise not to blend any more than three at a time. Once things have started to shift, a change of essence can be helpful as the next emotional layer is revealed."

The subtlety of this type of plant medicine, and the variations between unique people, mean that interpretations and results are likely going to vary. A person's attitude, state of mind or approach could influence the medicinal procedure as much as, if not more than, "hard" chemistry or plant conpounds, especially because almost none of the original plant is in the fluid --- only the signature resonance.

So, besides utility, why would I be drawn to Bugloss? After all, the garden has abundant Buttercups, but I chose Bugloss first. As a life-form, to me Bugloss represents tenacity, opportunism, persistence, and the ability both to ward off attack and to regenerate. It suggests deep roots once established. But it also, in its many flowers, suggests abundance and generosity: Once the roots are down, it isn't going anywhere, and can draw from that stability to offer plenty to others. To me, a woman of low finances who keeps being uprooted, Bugloss seems like good medicine. Even if I have to move again, deep internal roots and tenacity mean I'd always be close to my source of power --- well-grounded and plugged in to abundance. With this in mind, even my first attempt at this type of remedy might be of use to me personally, even if I don't offer it to others. As of now, I make most of my potions for myself, anyway!

I've found a couple of differing accounts of Bugloss' healing powers via an essence. Again, this may be due to differences in unique practitioners, and also the type of Bugloss (i.e. Purple Viper's, Siberian, etc.) consulted. So many factors!

Here is one:

   "Echium lycopsis. Bugloss is the remedy for those amongst us who are too easily discouraged by the inevitable setbacks encountered in life and are unwilling or unable to try again. They may well have developed a mental attitude that they will fail again so there is little point in trying. They still possess the desire to take action but their past experiences inform them that further efforts would be futile; they have indeed come to expect failure. Rather than view their setbacks as worthwhile attempts from which they can learn and improve, they perceive them as signs that they can not succeed.
   These folk develop this attitude because at their core they are not fully grounded and therefore have difficulty in grounding their aims and objectives. They possess in their hearts a sense of being unsettled, displaced or uprooted; a feeling that rarely leaves them. It is a subtle feeling, not easy to define or pin down, yet it permeates through into their lives, like water soaking through stone, to inhibit their true expressions.
   The Bugloss folk are extremely reluctant to commit to anything major and many possess a fair degree of the proverbial "rolling stone" about them. Their ungroundedness can also manifest as a nervous disposition or anxiety. For some of these folk there is a desire to search for something yet they have no idea what it is they are looking for.

 Suggested uses for Bugloss:

• for those who have been displaced or uprooted from familiar surroundings
• to help us pick up the threads of something we put down some time ago
• to give full respect to what we have learnt and achieved in the past
• when we have not succeeded but want to try again
• when we are travelling
• when we are unsettled by the feeling that our roots have been lifted out of the ground
• to help us realise on the emotional level that there are no mistakes, only experiences from which we can learn
• the alleviation of guilt
• when we feel deflated by our setbacks.

The bugloss used in this remedy is the Purple Viper's. Its signature arises from the fact that it is a very variable plant which has to be dug up for the purposes of identification as the roots have a distinguishing purple tint to them. It is the only plant I have lifted out of the ground when making into a flower remedy."

Well! This all certainly sounds promising. I have, despite being in the same town, been a proverbial "wanderer", noncommittal to any one job, home, husband or, for that matter, name of God. Yet part of this aimless wandering actually stems from feeling uprooted, multiple times, and not by choice. It's been hard to focus on heart-goals and projects, knowing I have to move again, and again. In addition to healing, the remedy may be a good one to help during travel.

Will Bugloss help with the shadow sides of this seeker's tendency, even if I don't settle down right away? I don't know, but I feel an open mind can't hurt. One good thing about making your own Flower Essences, it seems, is that you end up with plenty: a few drops go a long way.

The fine nuances of this healing modality fascinate me, as does the implication that a conflict between our expansion-driven souls and survival-focused minds is at the root of most if not all dis-ease. Exploring this has reminded me of just how much I don't know, and likewise how much there is to discover on this healing path called life. I look forward to it with excitement.

I can't help but notice that of all characters, Severus Snape must suffer one of the greatest and most agonizing rifts between the callings of his soul, and the brutal restraints imposed by his own mind out of necessity of survival. I can see him employing flowers in his work, but only in a very cold, clinical (and cynical!) way, as dictated by the logical mind rather than the heart or soul --- and yet, who knows what twinges he may feel while he works, and handles an asphodel bulb or lily bloom? All the Flower Essences combined might still fail to heal his rift completely; and yet he, like the Bugloss, remains deeply rooted --- as deeply as one can be --- in love, to which even the tortuous power of that locked-down brain is beholden. His wound, like his unique powers, is what saves all others.

Since state of mind is important, before I partake of this medicine further (post-preservation!), I will say:

   Bugloss, guardian of blue-gated bounty, forgive my brief trespasses upon your space, and the damage my existence brings upon you and this earth; I acknowledge your greater vitality and deep wisdom, and open myself to healing and refinement by the doorway of your many lessons. Guide me in the path of respect for all beings, and the ultimate harmony of mind and soul. So mote it be.

Beware ...the Poisoner!

May 26th marked one of the biggest nights of my year, in terms of sheer preparation and outlay of effort. So it has been for the past half-decade or so.

At Portland's 16th annual Vampires' Masquerade Ball no one was, thankfully, required to have fangs, although many went that route in their costume choices. But the event is for anyone who appreciates Gothic or industrial music, dark and/or elegant sentiments, or a historic and regal style of costume.

Last year at the VMB, and at its subsequent cousin, the Vespertine Winter Ball, I went as versions of Marie Antoinette. The spring event was the most fun for this, since I was fully immersed in exploring the herstory, ideologies, fashion and culture of Marie. By the time the Vespertine arrived, however, my genderfluid soul had already begun channeling its more masculine portion, as a love for Severus Snape and warlockish magic was revived in me, so my Ancien Regime gown did not fit as well as it had earlier that year. I almost did not buy a ticket to this year's Masquerade, in fact, but I realized quite truthfully: This could always be my last one. There are also friends I see pretty much only at these events, and I wasn't ready to miss that opportunity.

I already knew I was going as something dangerous and masculine, something sleek, dark and, well, Snapelike. Not only because my spirit called for it, either, but because moving through a crowd of 750 in a pannier gown is like piloting a barge sideways in molasses. But I didn't just want to go as Snape, in a plain old frock, with a plain old face. I wanted more, even, than merely my awesome test-tube bandolier. (I am so hard to please.) I wanted potion and poison bottles on practically every damn part of me, a veritable arsenal. And, I decided at the last, I was going incognito. It would be my first year wearing a full mask, completely disguised. What began as a Potions Master ended up as more a Medieval or Renaissance-style poisoner-assassin, the kind who slips into the banquet hall or King's boudoir and does dirty work.

Thanks, Sandy!

Of course, I ended up fucking awesome.

Watch your drink, vampire!

(Thandiwe also looks awesome.)

I busted my bohocus the week before the Masquerade, not only revamping my test-tube ammo belt, but making some other spiffy accessories, including a belt-slip for a couple of antique bottles, an arm cuff and a gauntlet, the latter packing several tiny glass vials. All are leather, and sewing leather by hand is a bitch. My fingers became sore, and I was very grateful for my leather awl by C.S. Osborne and Company.

The day of the event was hectic. I hustled to finish the last details, get my hair dyed a fresh greasy black, and completed the rivet designs on my mask even as I rode downtown on the bus to buy alcohol. After all, one of the best perks of having a myriad little bottles in your costume is the ability to pack half a fifth of booze on your person, and nobody blinks an eye . . . and it's never-you-mind to those ridiculously overpriced cocktails! Snape's nose, but I had vodka, I had Irish Cream, I had port. . . . While I saw no point in actually carrying assassins' chemicals just to impress a couple of people at a measly four-hour event, this Renaissance poisoner was nonetheless loaded.

And well that I was, for it was hard to get in the "zone" of comfort and enjoyment --- partly due to the stress of preparation, and for still ending up two hours late (I get so sick of being late) and having to bike there, but also? It was one day before my moon. You're at, like, your very worst and most slaggy the day before you get your moon. Once I had a few sips in me, things began to improve. I danced the Midnight Waltz with a friend, and those who knew me (and some who didn't) loved my duds. And if I wanted to vanish from those who knew me or not, it was on with the mask!

In short: It was worth it. I mean, look at this shit.

One of the best things about this go-around is that the resulting products, the arm cuffs and other accessories, are the sort of thing that I can wear in everyday life. They look amazing and bad-arse, and they're also practical. Even if I don't plan to poison anybody.

The night bursted with the unexpected. First, my Goth friend Mr. Litster, who has family in Britain (lucky dawg!), brought me a gift from over there: In the food line, he handed me a little vial of water from the Chalice Well in Glastonbury. I'd been to this very place, the lion-headed spigot that pours iron-rich water and feeds the Chalice Well itself, as a teenager back in '98, where I cried in happiness and emotional connection to my ancestral roots. What a potion! What a special gift!

Secondly, I rarely buy anything from the vendors, but this year a table was selling a whole selection of antique stamped brass medallions and embellishments from the Czech Republic. I'm a sucker for these --- I can use them on icons, on book covers, and lots of other projects. The vendor couple told me they didn't sell well, because people don't know what to do with these raw, unincorporated materials, but I felt like I'd hit a gold mine! I dropped a fair wad on some beautiful Gothic metal ornaments and flourishes, and then a bit more on two witchy prints by another woman I know, Maxine Miller.

Third and less fortunate, the organizer was four people short in her dissembly crew. She pleaded for help, and a bunch of us still in Goth, fancy costume, and even high heels began stacking chairs, carrying stage poles, and sweeping. I watched in admiration as the burly, gray-haired team lead worked the breakdown crew like a sergeant, cranking fiercely on the controls of the aerial circus supports; no doubt they had a deadline. But still is the most indomitable of us mortal and of limitation: I was startled to see him outside a bit later, being comforted by someone, and I offered to get him a glass of water. Not long after, they had to call an ambulance --- he had overexerted himself! Suddenly, all that mattered was that he would be okay, for we had done what we could. At four in the morning, it was time to clear out.

After so much prep and anticipation, the night had passed in a whirlwind, as it so typically does. A bike ride home in the early blue dawn, where I held up my Chalice Well vial to the pink gibbous moon as it set on the horizon, followed by a quick shower. Then I curled into bed, exhausted, and slept most of next day.

Now for the rest of my summer!

Update, June 9: The organizer reports that Eric the "sarge-ish" crew lead is well and back home with his family. It was only a *mild* heart attack. Bloody hell, and thank goodness!

Sacred and Religious Potions

Potions come in all types, from the most practical of "low" magical blends like Money-drawing or "Get the heck off my lawn", to more spiritually-oriented or so-called Theurgical drinks for connecting to a god or goddess, the moon, faeries, or your highest wisdom. Any drink, fluid, powder or unguent, if empowered with blessing, meaning or magical intention, is technically a potion . . . even if it's not referred to as such.

One of the most common sacred potions, I realized today, is the wine found in the Christian Eucharist.

Spiritual classes at Trinity finished up for the summer this Wednesday, and the one I chose to attend was the last of Canon Michael's series on the mystical meaning of the Eucharist, called "Elements of Soul".

It's always a good feeling when you hear someone else speaking on a level you understand, and I was immediately engaged. We watched a video featuring one Ken Wilbur, on mysticism and the stages of human development as related to the Eucharist.

Of these Stages of Human Development, there are six:

• Archaic. -- "You are what you eat." First stage. Most fundamental, literal level. Not without some truth, either: eat GMOs, become toxic. Extends to: Eat a lion, gain a lion's strength. God, become God.
•
•
•
•
•

It may sound odd to be addressing any aspect of organized religion on this blog. A lot of witches and pagans who "revert" from organized patriarchal religion, as I did from Episcopalianism at age nine, virulently reject their faith, its dogma, and anything to do with Jesus, out of a need to reform their identity and find out what their souls need. Often they replace one form with another: Wicca is a religion too, albeit a less rigid one, as is Buddism, etc.

But as I see it, one of the milestones toward being a true mage, or mystic, is precisely the ability to see above the cubicle walls of dogma and religion that people tend to build around themselves for protection. It means being able to see the Greater Truth underlying people's behavior, beliefs, adherence to certain habits and rituals, and loyalty to various diety-forms (or not). It also means being able to embrace that greater wisdom as found in each faith, pattern or modality you encounter.

In more earthy terms: A mage knows how to sort the treasure from the bullshit, and toss out the latter.

This is the state I've reached today, where I can discard or look through much of the language and squabbling forms of religion to see the commonalities among them, and the greater meaning in each. I reverted at a young enough age, I've had time to make some progress since; I've been up the spiral enough times to view Jesus, what he stands for, and human nature itself with what I feel are clearer inner eyes. I do my best to adhere to many of those basic principles, too, such as nonviolent action, community and mitigation. In a way, I suppose that makes me a Christian!

But what I've learned is, the majority of most Christians aren't There yet --- they don't have a view that expansive, and still believe in the narrow path of either/or, of being one of them or not. (The very fact I have to use the words "them" and "they" indicates a forced separation, and a realization that I have an ego, too!) I do not only adhere to traditional dogmatic church teachings in my quest for wisdom --- and that only is a big hangup for lots of people, like an invisible wall. Because I also embrace things like magic, hoodoo and quantum physics, I describe myself by the word "mage".

The Eucharist is to me a good example of this. The symbolism of the wine is that of blood, specifically the blood of the Christian founder, which in a literal sense has a startlingly primitive, pagan, even zombie-esque feel to it: Does the nice old lady next to me in the pew really imagine herself to be drinking blood? Blood has of course been viewed since the dawn of humanity as not only a symbol, but the very stuff of life, so this makes sense. But then there's the bread.

The greater truth here, then, is even more important: The Eucharist affirms, first, that despite our quibbles and differences and the illusion of our separate forms, we as humans are united in common life, energy and soul by a need and gift shared by all --- food and drink, and food and drink are the substance of the Divine. To me, to accept the Eucharist means to willingly see the dude next to you as being made of the same stardust you are, and as literally Divine; and, here's the hard part, not separate from you at all. (I didn't say it was easy, and it ain't, because there are people I really don't like in that church!)

Second, it suggests that sacrifice is in fact necessary, but we can approach this by discarding the baggage of guilt and sin altogether: It's as simple as, Energy cannot be created or destroyed, it only changes form; so to maintain a form, you have to consume, and so other forms must die. Forget the "fallen" crap. We're not all evil, cursed beings, and Earth isn't fallen or cursed, either. But, we are trapped in a world of illusion, duality, push-and-pull, live-and-die, and conflicting forms, until we make our way back to Unity. At the highest level of meaning, Yeshua bin Josef --- Jesus --- was attempting to lead people to a state of Unity, of non-conflict, while they were still here on Earth in material forms.

The Eucharist then, as I see it, is a sacred act of acknowledging, and literally becoming, Unity. Becoming God, or the Divine State. We're all made of the same stuff. Eat the same stuff. Eat each other's stuff, while trying to survive. Eat, even, each other. To remember this underlying Unity, despite the tumbled chaos of our material-form dance, is to recall our sacredness --- and hopefully to act in the world with more respect because of that remembrance. People get caught up in dogma, and start throwing the word "sin" at other people, usually out of fear, and without looking in a mirror first. But what, if it exists at all, is sin?
Sin is acting purely out of illusion of being separate.

Take a Monsanto executive. He knows he has to eat to survive. (Toilet paper is nice, too.) Nothing wrong there, that's just life. Maybe he even eats with respect, or says grace at dinner. Maybe he recycles yoghurt containers. But does he remember, is he aware, or does he care, that the food on his plate is the same stardust as the food on people's plates in the low-rent district, and that it's all sacred? His job all but mandates that he continue to poison millions of people, plants, animals, acres of dirtand waterways, in the illusion of separation of his actions and their consequences from everything else. The idea of separation, and making choices based on it, is the sin. The state of sin is one in which fear and control obscure the greater Unity of us all and, ultimately, love.

And we all do it, because the illusion of these material bodies and the challenge of daily survival is very convincing and very distracting.

By remembering our common Unity, Jesus suggests, and following his footsteps and tips, the most fear-plagued tax collector may be whole again.
"Come to the table."

Vh

Power Signs at Work

Sigils are one of those forms of magick I keep meaning to explore, but keep forgetting to do so. This easy-to-access practice can be used for so many things, however, and such power is inherent in symbols and words (for which I already have a fondness anyway!), that I have no excuse for not delving into them more often. Having learned two sets of runes and Morse Code as a child, never mind my talent for art, it strikes me as odd that my work with sigils has been so lacking.

At work early this morning --- and I mean early, as in, one or two a.m. --- I begun playing about with making a sigil. Perhaps empowered by my recent, rather charged crafting and laying of a genuine "trick" potion or magickal conjure formula, I felt a bit energized, and had potions and other forms of magick on my mind. I also researched a bit on Brujeria this same night, having somehow gotten on that tack, thinking this powerful form of anywhere-from-white-to-black South American witchcraft might yield some useful potion recipes.

There's no shortage of scrap paper at work, and there's also a hot glue pit on the box-making machine. Using some card, I made an experimental amulet by dipping it in the glue (fearfully hot! 350°F). But most importantly, I made the sigil, which I figure can be used to empower any number of objects, especially drinks and potions.

Sigils are a kind of "distillation" of ideas and symbols, where a group of glyphs, words, and their attendant meanings are combined, trimmed of all excess, and encapsulated in a single symbol of power. For the sigil above, I focused first --- almost without conscious thought --- on three things I want to combine: a flask, for my magick and especially potistry work; a heart, for (obviously!) my soul calling; and a dollar sign, for wealth and success. I reasoned that lining those up is never a bad idea. Next, other symbols crept in: glyphs for the sun, earth, and a waxing quarter moon for growth. The progress of the sigil's formation is obvious on this piece of scratch paper.

Finally, I put in symbols for the planet Uranus and for Taurus. Not only am I a double Taurus, but Uranus transiting into Taurus is one of the big astrological events this year, which just occurred --- along with the Dark Moon! --- on May 15th. Uranus in Taurus means a shaking and awakening of some long-stagnant fields (literally and metaphorically!), and, as I see it, a great opportunity. More about this later.

Being at work, I couldn't devote full intention to actually empowering the sigil on anything. I look forward to trying this in future spells and projects, and see what happens!

Class in Session: "Begone!" A Pinch in a Pinch

A confession here: I'm one of those lazy witches.

I suppose that makes me something of a lazy potist, too. I also must presume a bit of that laziness stems from fear, which is the primary root cause of procrastination. Us skeptics and scientists and pragmatists, especially, can really fall into the trap of putting our heads down and thinking, "Bah . . . magic? Might not do a damn bit of good. Just wishful hocus-pocus and pipe-dreaming. I'd better stick with plain old hard work. . . ."

Except, a life of all pragmatism and no wonder leaves a bit to be desired. I think there's a danger of aging too quickly that way, by losing touch with the magic and synchronicity of the Universe, never mind a sense of childlike play. We also know very well by now that accomplishment, manifestation and creative projects begin with a vision, and that process is the backbone of true magic.

There's another side to the use of magic, though. What if you've done all you can on the material plane under your own steam, and it still isn't enough? What if you find your "arse in a crack", are disenfranchised, ripped off, or simply want a bit more "rightness" to a situation? And you've heard that just maybe, if you try these rather non-scientific methods, the Universe might nonetheless respond to your plight and help? That's when some people resort to prayer if they're Judaeochristian, and prayer plus spells, potions and hoodoo if they're Pagan, Wiccan, Witches and/or Magi (though the line is blurred, and some Judaeochristians also use hoodoo).

Two nights ago, I'd pulled a 10-to-6 graveyard shift. After I come home and bathe, I go one place, and that's bed. So I didn't see the already less-than-24-hour notice of a potential buyer showing by our real estate agent. I had to pack my butt out of that house in one hour, for an hour!
  "Is that going to be okay for you guys?"
  "It's just that the buyer has to fly out tomorrow. . . ."
  "She (me) must be exhausted, poor thing!"

Why, yes I am, you rich, falsely sympathetic little snot of a real estate agent, and I do not appreciate this crap. ("It's impossible to like somebody like that," my friend Allison consoled me.)

If I had used any hoodoo-type formula, such as Hot-Foot Powder or Banishing Oil, it had been a looong time --- so long, I couldn't recall when. But the beauty of hoodoo and folk magic, besides its availability to anyone, is the ease of its use. It works on conviction and the Doctrine of Signatures, so it doesn't require the use of three circles, twelve candles, or a two-hour theurgical ritual. A simple mixture, a quick sprinkle of powder, and off you go.

Not only was I resentful of being turfed, and so very suddenly ("Well, I guess we'll just have to accommodate them. . . ."), but I didn't want the house to sell hastily, or to any but the very most worthy buyer. I recall a man back home who complained he couldn't get decent trade-workers to repair his homes where I grew up. "Well," barked my father, "that's because of filthy-rich guys like you buying their fourth house out there sight-unseen, and driving the cost of living up so much that tradespeople can't afford to live out there!" That shut the man up. Dad always was one to fight for the underdog, knowing how it feels to be one.

I wanted to fight for my house. To keep the threat at bay. To discourage the unworthy. After all, I'm a witch. For once not in the mood to take life lying down and ass-kissing, I thought: Hot-Foot Powder!

What did I have on hand, in a literal pinch? Red pepper and black pepper are both used in Hot-Foot, protective and repellent blends. But I didn't just want the person to not stick around on premises. I wanted them to look around, and go, ". . . .Meh. Not for me." And move on. As per the Doctrine of Signatures, what had the energy of "meh", of distaste, flatness and lack of enthusiasm? Ashes! And ashes we had --- downstairs in the fireplace.

Another ingredient came to me in a brilliant stroke of inspiration. One of the only things I didn't like about living in this location was its invasion of tiny sugar ants. They invaded my Fig Newtons. They invaded my potion ampoules. And most recently, a whole swarm of them invaded, of all things, my snowboard boot! And the little bastards smell horrible when you squish them, a veritable scream of alarm pheromones. In the case of the boot, I went nearly mad and squished dozens of them before moving the offending boot outside. Dead ants --- a perfect ingredient in a "Yuk, don't move here" potion!

Finally, vinegar is a good ingredient for formulae used to "sour" a person on an option, relationship or anything else. No Balsamic here; I had plain old, nose-hair-puckering white vinegar in the cabinet.

I had just minutes to compose this thing, before I ran out the flippin' door. I grabbed my dirtiest little spare bottle. Heading downstairs, in went some dead ants off the carpet. Over to the fireplace for ashes. Then some red and black pepper. I meant to put in just a drop of vinegar for a powder, hoodoo-style, but slop! In went too much vinegar, so it became a potion. Nothing exact --- a "pinch o' dis and a dash o' dat" is quite common practice in hoodoo and kitchen witch mixtures.

Next, it was, shake that mutha up!

". . . Barring all those dear to me,
take one look inside and flee,
get back on your plane and stay
far, far away!"

I don't recall the entire rhyme I spoke to enchant the potion (whilst shaking the heck out of it), but spur-of-the-moment magick is like that: for, and of, the moment. The important thing is, it felt good, came from a place of passion and raw spontenaity, and served my needs.

Finally, I went down the front walk and, behind me, poured the potion in a line cross the pavers below the front step. It would act on whoever crossed that line, who was not housemate Debbie, a relative, or a friend of either of us --- and they'd have to cross that line to get to the front door, through which an agent would most certainly introduce them properly to the house! Then I went and had French onion soup and lemon chocolate cube cake at La Petite Provence . . . giving the waiter an extra tip, because, well, he was a delicious baritone with a good sarcastic wit.

The house didn't sell.

As an update on June 5th:
The house still hasn't sold, but this may be due to the intimidation factor of the amazing, cutting-edge aquaponic greenhouse and its necessary learning curve and maintenance, more than my potion. What hasn't changed is that I want this house to go to the best buyer possible. In light of that, I may be making another potion in the coming days, and appealing to various saints . . . this time to encourage a timely, and appropriate, house sale!

This potion, and many of its hoodooish cousins, can be considered by some to be "grey magick": It has active, controlling influence on other people, and not purely benign; i.e. it has a denser vibration than, say, herbal medicine tea or moon water. In making it, I felt the heady sense of power that comes with responsibility. A passionate curse potion can really kink a person out, so I'm not one to dribble them about lightly --- indeed, my following week was full of drama! (Although, it was unconnected to the house, and may have just been Uranus moving into Taurus).

But in making and utilizing this potion so quickly, I was also inspired. I felt suddenly qualified as the resourceful, practical, and imminently powerful gutter-type mage represented by Snape, who can use anything around him to meet his ends. I felt close to the hearth heritage of our own American rootwork, folk magick and hoodoo traditions, who have "a powder for that", and a huge range of blends and spells for just about any need. I reveled in a kind of magick that felt more raw, practical, rough-and-ready than some of the light-focused, uber-spiritual types of work espoused by New Age and Wiccan groups these days, who seem afraid to get their hands dirty (even while their exes are trouncing them, and people in power are getting away with murder!).

I felt inspired at being reminded how Potistry doesn't have to be this great, intimidating thing that takes three hours or a certain moon phase: It can also be immediate, and simple, a perfect mix of the calculating mind and passionate spirit . . . and on top of this, it can be fearlessly, shamelessly bitchin'.

Oh, Severus! May this be only the start of a new and wonderful phase of my regular practice, one that invites courage and action; yet may I also not abuse such power.

'Cause, you know. I really do want our home to go to a good home.

Fun fact: Some say that if you see a purple door, it means a witch lives there. This may or may not be true, but I'm seeing a lot of purple doors posted in my online witch groups, and it's obvious some witches are reclaiming power and identity by painting their doors (among many other things!). One day when I have my own house, I wouldn't mind having a purple door!

Class in Session: Floral Potions

Fjfjg

Ggg

Ggg

Ggg

Ggg

Ffg

Ggg

Class in Session: Spagyric Shrooms, concluded

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Fjfj

Cixjd

Djcjf

Djfj

Fjfj

Djf

Cjc

Xjc

An Educational Birthday

Cycle's End

In numerology, One carries the energy of the beginning of a cycle. Nine wraps up the end of it. In my Nine years in terms of age, big things have tended to happen. Such as: 9 = began making own religious choices; 18 = college transition; 27 = last year with Mom. The end of one cycle, more or less a few months, and the start of another.

Today marks the end of another Nine year: my last day of being 36.

Tomorrow, our house was slated to go on the market; that's been bumped to the 4th instead. This past week has been an insane odyssey of stuffing, transporting, and hiding boxes of possessions to allow a photographer to take pictures worthy of a real estate listing. My current way of life, like it or not, is slowly crumbling. I'll be there another month, so I refused to take out all my stuff --- including some of my books and potions. I didn't want to live, as I told my friends, in Ma Hubbard's cupboard. But the urgency of completing old projects, mailing off old business, and weeding out old junk (up to and including "this old rat" as it were!) is strong in the air.

All I need is a portrait of Severus for it to be an altar.

Moving is nothing new. The past nine years have been full of unemployment, partial employment, employment at piddly jobs that turned out not to work out, and particularly in the past few years, being shunted from one living situation to the next. In short: I'm getting tired of this town. I've learned a lot, but I need a change of scene and routine, too. And I've long since gotten sick of this phase.

Before one goes to bed, one has to pack all the laboratory equipment currently occupying the bed. What a mess this whole process was! Still, there's a therapeutic quality to it.

I came to Portland with the intent to just "live and work for awhile" and see what came of it. Now that I see what did come from my sometimes aimless-feeling wanderings, I can ask: What's next? Better yet, I can better define what I want "next" to look and feel like.

With my passport coming in the mail, I don't know where I'll end up during this next cycle. I do know that I've put both conscious and unconscious tendrils out to the Universe that I'm ready for something new, to cram my stuff in storage and jump ship while I have the money and will and time to do it. No obligations, no family. Just desire. My current plea, then, is that the Powers aid me in steamrolling through fear and second-guessing, and in true Saturnian fashion, into doing the necessary prep-work step by step before I jump.

"Home is where your junk is." However little of it, but including your bed.

Lots of stuff happening in the stars seems to suggest this is a good time for wrapping up old business and making new beginnings. I find it all too much to keep track of, not being a professional starwatcher, so it's fortunate we have an abundance of people who are, as well as the Internet to connect us all.

Bairavee says:

"Over the past few days, the skies have been flooded with intense astrological alignments – one after the other. : Sun trined Saturn, Scorpio Full Moon, Mars squared Eris, Sun squared North Node (conjunct Ceres) and South Node - and so on. All within the slower-moving (and farther reaching) influence of Chiron´s entry into Aries.
There´s just been a lot happening.
But truthfully - these are the smaller rumbles - the stepping-stones that build up to a far more powerful shift, namely: Uranus´ entry into Taurus on May 15, 2018.
Now there´ll be some back and forth on this as Mars, Venus, Chiron, Uranus (and other bodies) retrograde. The energy of Chiron in Aries and Uranus in Taurus will only settle down in February-March 2019.
We´ve all been preparing for this time. And it´s important to keep the larger astrological picture in mind.
Change is afoot. It´s best not to obsess over the minutiae as the more anxiety we contribute to the collective adds to the very pressure we´re anxious about.
It´s also why I haven´t been writing as much. Only when guided to do so.
Stick to the basics:
Practice self-care. Uranus at 29 Aries is not going to leave without a fight – or at the very least – not before imparting valuable lessons in self-awareness.
Pay attention.
Pursue your goals steadfastly (especially with Saturn and Mars in Capricorn). Keep at it day by day even if there´s a feeling of inertia (or stuckness) present. It´s especially important to keep going then, even if a little progress is all you can manage. Just be consistent.
Ungrounded individuals are likely to behave in erratic ways. They are more likely to feel and express these shifts in a volatile manner. Ensure that you have done nothing to add fuel to the fire, and remember to not take it personally.
Stability is key right now, especially as we sit at the threshold of change.
You can be sure that more is coming.
So do what you can, and let the planets do the rest. Things will feel different after May 15.
Blessings."

Indeed.

Late tonight, I held a ritual to celebrate the transition of both my year and current cycles. (I'm also on my moon, so let's count it all in!) For the first time in years, I recited some lines from my own handwritten Severan Litany --- having finally found the papers. I also cleaned my auric field of energy connections; I'm already aware this is a practice that needs to be repeated, since old grudges die hard. And I annointed myself with an essential oil I felt would be in line magically with the goals I hope to accomplish in the coming days:

 Vetiver –
 Helps to ground and replenish the energy field, and release negative or excess energy from the body. Helps to break old patterns, so that you can create positive change and learn the important lessons in soul growth that The Universe has been bringing to you, that you may have been overlooking, Promotes a connection between you and Nature.
--- Sourced from:
 http://draly.life/metaphysical-properties-essential-oils/

Knowledge of essential oils, if not by heart then by book and in practice, is a good tool for a modern potist.

The last thing before I went to sleep was taking another crack at reading my new crystal ball, which I rarely do. "Crystal gazing is a particularly refined art . . ." That, Sybil, it most definitely is. I didn't anticipate being able to see, but for the first notable time I got not only mist but a few shapes forming within, before dissipating back into oblivion. The one that lingered most in my mind was the form of a winged dart, which I took to mean I should stay focused on my aspirations in the next few weeks, come what may --- including fear, doubt, house-sales, and whatever insane fun Uranus in Taurus throws at us on May 15th.

All we can do is our best right?